Set the Temperature!

'My attitude?' I clarified. He simply nodded and, with a confident 'Yep!', continued our drive towards the beach. (This happened last week when 'social distancing' was still allowed at the beach.) For fun I had asked my husband what his top pick would be if I could do just one thing to get ready for a day. My examples had all been more 'outward appearance' based; change out of the comfy pants, wash my face and apply mascara, deal with my hair..' Yet he had responded, without missing a beat, on a much deeper level. And, of course, this got me thinking. 

Ever notice how your attitude affects those around you? (If you haven't, I recommend visiting your local Chick-Fil-A. I always leave there with a smile on my face; their stellar customer service can dramatically affect attitudes and no, they are not paying me to write this.) On the flip side, living outside D.C. for a year taught me several lessons on road rage. While I hope their erratic driving didn't rub off on me too much, I have been known to put my horn to 'good use' when the situation warrants it. I found it very interesting to observe how the angry drivers only succeeded in creating MORE angry drivers. Attitude, among other contagions these days, is easily spread.
We discussed this concept on multiple occasions last fall when one of my boys decided bike riding was no longer his favorite activity. I would remind him of how our attitude is contagious and we must choose what we'll spread, in that case- joy or discouragement. (This didn't always transform our ride, but I do believe he started to see the connection between his mindset and the amount of fun he could end up having.) 

Maybe it's simply because this is the lens through which I now see the world, but there is a definite correlation between attitudes and mamas. We set the tone, whether through actions, words, or attitude; inspiring our crew to embrace the next challenge as an adventure or convincing them, often times without realizing it, that the task may be too daunting. I know this because I've done both. Whether it be a looming cross country move or learning to share a bedroom, those first wobbly steps or tryouts for a brand new sport, a meal they'd rather not eat or a habit they must break, the frame of mind we parents take on has enormous power to inspire or deflate our kids! 

We learn this, in part, when our toddlers start falling down and looking to us for direction on how to handle it. Just like we've taught them everything else thus far, they trust us to teach them how to respond to this new experience. Of course, sometimes there will be tears regardless. But the non-emergent situations tend to be more easily diffused when we learn to control our initial urge to gasp and run to them. When Mama can stay calm, simply responding to the scraped knee instead of reacting as if it may require amputation, our tiny humans learn how to handle the next crash.

I read an article by John Hopkins Medicine that said, 'researchers suspect that people who are more positive may be better protected against the inflammatory damage of stress.' And 'studies also find that negative emotions can weaken immune response.' If that's not convincing, I'm not sure what is. We physically suffer from having a bad attitude. And did you know that smiling helps you relax and actually lowers heart rate and blood pressure? The simple act of smiling releases dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin into our bloodstream. Having a good attitude (and letting your face reflect it) is not only contagious but extremely beneficial to our health!

Attitude plays a huge part in the 'better or worse' part of marriage, too! Derek and I have almost 10 years under our belts and still so much to learn. But we DO know that when one of us is worked up it is the other one's job to remain calm. A bomb can't do much damage if you don't light the fuse. Proverbs 29:11 says 'Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.' A wife's attitude has the power to inspire her man to greatness or knock his feet out from under him. Proverbs 21:19 'It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.' 

My husband would choose me clad in sweat pants and a messy bun with a genuine smile on my face, over the put-together version of me who is nursing a bad attitude. I'm guessing your significant other would say the same about you. Not that they should have to choose one or the other (getting ready for the day actually tends to improve morale around here). And Derek did later clarify that he did not mean the fake kind of 'good attitude'. Being positive goes hand in hand with being honest and the ability to communicate frustrations or a need for help. 

But the moral of this particular story is that the attitude we choose to operate out of can be a game changer for our relationships, our health, and for the tiny people watching us navigate the ups and downs of life. It can do more for our appearance than we might ever realize. Attitude can inspire and breath life into the people around you. Or it can do the opposite. Which brings me to the current pandemic our world is currently trying to maneuver through. 

I don't want to talk much about COVID-19, there's enough of that going around to last a lifetime. But I want to share an example that might help in the days to come. I read an article last fall, in preparation for this year of homeschooling, about attitude and how it affects those around us. Sonya Shafer described the differences between a thermometer and a thermostat and I can not tell you how often these words come to mind. She says, 'A thermometer is controlled by its atmosphere; a thermostat controls its atmosphere. There’s a big difference.' 

Did you catch that, my friend? There is a massive difference. When the weight of life feels unbearable, or the unknowns are piling up, fear starts to creep in and I have a choice. So do you! Control or be controlled. We can be a thermometer governed by what's going on around us; fluctuating with our circumstances, the news, and opinions or fears of those around us. Or we can choose to be a thermostat and set the temperature, at least for our own heart and within our sphere of influence. 
If each of us became intentional about regulating the temperatures of our own home, instead of riding the wild waves of media and panic, we just might be able to affect the temperature of our city, our state, our country, and beyond. 
It starts with me. Today. In my house. Knowing that my attitude is not only powerful but highly contagious, I must make the choice to spread joy and hope to those around me. And it's not possible in my own strength, but I have the very best news to pass along. These are Jesus' words in John 16:33 'I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.' He has overcome the world. Take heart! 

Safe Harbor

Sanctuary. The word echoes through sleepy corridors of my mind as I walk Kai early one morning. The cooler night delivers a foggy mist that hangs heavy in the air; the birds sing regardless. I marvel at tiny flowers stubbornly growing right next to carelessly discarded soda cans and candy wrappers. Beauty without regard for its surroundings. Sanctuary; again the thought reverberates within, even though I'm miles from the nearest stained glass window and my surroundings aren't exactly serene as the morning rush of traffic pulses just a block away on College Road.
I dig into definitions when I get home, after refilling my coffee cup and starting a pot of water to boil. It's an oatmeal-with-buttered-toast kind of morning. The boys dump out the entire collection of legos and another day of construction begins. The dictionary defines 'sanctuary' as a place of refuge or safety. A haven, or harbor. This last word grabs me, my lightbulb moment as 'harbor' comes to life in my mind.
I see the little boat tossed carelessly by monstrous waves, whipped by the wind, utterly lost in a storm. I can taste the fear, salty and desperate, with eyes glued to the horizon in search of land. Sanctuary, indeed, taking the form of a narrow escape. A storm weary sailor finally makes it ashore, giving thanks for solid, dry ground under shaky, waterlogged feet. Safety; a place of refuge.

We haven't lived smack dab in the middle of a city since our first year of marriage and we've never attempted apartment life before this summer. To give you a (slightly ridiculous) idea of the adjustment this is: we've never needed to walk our dog on an actual leash before and we are complete rookies when it comes to being equipped with those poop-scooping baggies! We've been completely spoiled with acreage and mountain ranges, and have even lived in several spots with backyard access to a body of water. So we are doing our best to learn the art of life in a city and make the most of our adventure in a third floor apartment!
The boys are working on being 'good neighbors' to those around and below us; refraining from excessive power slamming of the floor and not yelling like ninja warriors as they run down the hall fully clad in superhero garb. It's difficult not being able to simply send our adventurers outside on their own throughout the day to run, dig, and explore. It's a workout trekking up and down three flight of stairs for what feels like the hundredth time (but is realistically probably just the 11th.. today).
For the first time in a very long time, I have to be intentional about the locking of our car doors. And, upon his arrival at our front door, Derek occasionally discovers the house keys still dangling from the lock on the outside. I'm blaming this learning curve on SMK (small town kid) syndrome. Of course, my self diagnosis is entirely fabricated! But this way of life is entirely different than any of our previous chapters; the learning curve includes both excitement and frustration. And in the midst of it all, I continue to hear these quiet whispers about 'sanctuary' which, at first glance, don't quite match my current surroundings. God is revealing His presence in ways I would not have been able to comprehend had I lived my whole life in the wide open spaces.

The boys and I cross busy streets without incident (thanks to 'crosswalk etiquette 101' which became mandatory after our first few days of city life) for long walks and bike rides on the winding trails of the University nearby. Most frequently requested activity of late is batting practice in an abandoned parking lot backing up to our apartment building, and we may or may not let Kai roam leash-free over there. We laugh as we talk about how we will actually miss that area when we move on from this home; we had no idea of the treasures it would hold for our family, the hours of fun it would provide.
City life is traffic jams, parking meters, and graffiti you desperately hope your kids don't inquire about. City life is also delightfully easy access to splash pads on hot days! It's parks and playgrounds promptly labeled 'more epic' than any we've ever monkeyed around on, and an impressive variety of ice cream shops all begging to be sampled. In the midst of an entire city's rushing to-and-fro and the congestion of traffic and noise, we are finding unexpected, unconventional sanctuaries. And I sincerely hope we contribute a bit of joy to our fellow apartment dwellers with the chalk drawings we leave on every sidewalk and the excessive amount of bubbles floating down from our porch. 

Just as beauty can grow regardless of who will see it or how ideal its surroundings; a haven can be found amidst chaos. In fact, I don't think the little vessel pictured in my mind's eye would appreciate that safe harbor nearly as much if the storm had not been raging all around. Nothing about our life here in North Carolina is a guarantee right now and that has me feeling a bit like a vessel at sea, facing the waves of unknowns and decisions that seem far too complex to simply 'make'. Because of this, I dig deeper still, longing for greater understanding of Sanctuary that meets me where I am. As this season continues to require one step of faith after another, I lean more fully into the God who doesn't require my figuring it all out but, rather, offers peace in the midst of my mess and walks patiently beside me.

It's another morning, and I am reading Psalm 65. Verse 7 with its storm reference catches my attention, 'You quieted the raging oceans with their pounding waves...' Ready to dig in, I follow the cross reference to Matthew 8:26-27 'Jesus responded, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. "Who is this man?" they asked. "Even the winds and waves obey Him!" ' The trail continues as the cross reference for that verse leads me to Psalm 107:25-30 where things get a little more interesting.
'He spoke, and the winds rose, stirring up the waves. Their ships were tossed to the heavens and plunged again to the depths; the sailors cringed in terror. They reeled and staggered like drunkards and were at their wits' end. "LORD, help!" they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor!' 
Of course we know that God controls the seas and it only makes sense that if He can calm them, He can also stir them up. But I see it in new light this morning, quite possibly because of all the 'sanctuary' whispers of late. I don't think we like to dig too deep into the fact that His voice might be the one stirring up waves in our life, allowing us sailors to arrive at 'wits' end' so that crying out for His help becomes the obvious best choice!
(I do believe storms in our life may also be the result of natural consequence put into motion by our own sinful choices. They may also be an attack of the Enemy. But those storms are an entirely different blog post. My point is that I don't believe anything touches my life without the Father allowing it. If that was possible, He wouldn't be sovereign. Also, another post for another day.)

Honestly, when things go exactly as planned, are we as likely to spend as much time on our knees as we do when everything is falling apart? Hopefully we are all working in this area, intentionality and consistency of seeking His direction for our days regardless of circumstances. But, I'll be honest, I know in my own life it's been the seasons of difficulty, unknowns and in-betweens that have brought me to my wits' end and pushed me much closer to Him.
Like those sailors, coming to the literal end of our wisdom and realizing our massive inability to hold it all together should makes us cling to Him for dear life. Of course, it would've been nice for all the pieces of our latest transition to fall together perfectly. But not only is that unrealistic (oh, 'adulting'), He knows it's not the best way to keep me in consistent, intentional communication with the Master of the seas!! God wants me to cry out for His help and sometimes that means stirring up the waters around me, reminding me of my complete lack of control.
And so I continue to dig and confirm that 'sanctuary' is not location specific: no acreage required! It's found in a humble willingness to acknowledge His work in the midst of our storms; eyes ready to glimpse the beauty only He can bring from what we may have already labeled a ship wreck. When we acknowledge that God can speak in ways we might not expect, sanctuary takes the form of Him being our safe place, regardless of the situation. And we can choose to give thanks for His mercies that are, indeed, new even on the stormiest of mornings.
I trust the God that enables beauty to grow through cracks in the sidewalk and works through the wind and waves to bring peace. I believe He is meeting my family in the midst of city life with glimpses of clarity, a deeper trust in His timing, and an entirely new category of 'adventure'! He will also meet you where you're at today, my fellow sailors. And, even water-logged and shaky, may we each declare with the psalmist, 'What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor!' 

Part Two!

Once upon a time we packed up our two little men and their faithful pup and moved to a city; transitioning from 13 acres on a branch of the Potomac River to a third floor apartment next to the campus of UNCW. And, believe it or not, it's here in the rush of people and traffic, surrounded by constant activity and 24 hour conveniences, that I begin to unearth another layer of depth in my understanding of 'rest'. (I did warn you about the possibility of 'part two' in my last post about rest!)

The past year and a half have been very intense for our family. My superhero of a husband has managed to consistently work 90-100 hours per week with very little time off. We began this season with some time in our camper as work moved us from one hurricane devastated area to the next in the fall of 2017. Then, in search of daily work (not just response to catastrophes) we've moved three times since the start of 2018. One of those relocations included a 25hr trek across the country in separate vehicles.
It's been a grand adventure, consistent with the rest of our journey which, ironically, is anything but consistent. But we are tired. And as thankful as we are for the work, we knew the pace was not sustainable. This prompted our latest move to reposition our crew closer to the coast and we believe God opened a door, one that had previously been shut, in order to enable this. In search of a different pace of life, we've settled into an apartment for the summer and taken a significant decrease in work load. This is a learning curve with its own unique twist; rest is easier said than done.

After 18 months of going non-stop, it feels foreign (almost, wrong?) to slow our bodies down. Derek put 70,000 miles on his truck last year and the boys and I ate an average of 17 meals a week without him. While this pace was necessary in that season, we knew it was certainly not something we wanted to continue doing long-term. And yet, slowing down after that is like slowing down a freight train (which the boys and I just learned takes a MILE or more, with the emergency brake fully engaged, to come to a complete stop). As much as we know we need the break, it's tough for us to wrap our minds around being still, taking time to reflect, or simply playing frisbee at the beach on a random afternoon when there's nothing else we need to rush off to accomplish.
  A God who is beyond great, must, by definition, work in ways that are beyond our understanding. 

-Ann Voskamp

In my first post about rest I referenced the book 'Mercy Like Morning' by Jane Johnson. She shares about her digging into another reference of the word 'rest' that I didn't fully understand when I read the book several months ago, but can truly appreciate now. One Hebrew word for rest used very consistently throughout the Old Testament is nuwach and she has her readers dig into the lexicon (I'm loving using her recommendation: Blue Letter Bible for these extra tools) for definitions and examples. There's an Arabic interpretation of this word: 'to kneel down as a camel' which piqued her interest and led to her discovering the fact that camels do not naturally kneel down to rest, they must be trained to do this, forced even, for their own good.
'Camels were created to be resilient. But somewhere along the way, a camel-herdsman decided that training his animal to rest was in both their best interests. He decided that his camel might be that much more effective at what it was created to do if a little bit of rest was forced.' Jane Johnson

I mull over this type of forced rest as we head into our second month here in North Carolina, trying to find a new 'normal' for these in-between days. While we don't anticipate this initial level of slowness lasting much longer, the passing of time can seem elongated after a season of 'hustle' comes to an abrupt stop. We do our very best to savor this quality time; the unexpected gift of an afternoon nap, breakfast as a family, a stroll at sunset while the boys ride bikes ahead of us. Yet, it's hard to keep our minds from wandering to all that is to come, wondering what steps need to be taken next. We keep reminding ourselves it's okay, encouraged even, to 'cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength' as the dictionary so aptly defines rest.
God formed each of us with unique gifts and purposes; created us to be world changers as His hands and feet. But just like that camel-herdsman, He also knows we will be that much more effective at the task set before us if we take a minute to catch our breath. Forced rest: the bending of our knees even when everything within us (and the culture surrounding us) yells that we need to get back up, resume the hustle, and define 'purpose' by all we can accomplish in a day. The still, small Voice whispers, 'This is for your good, child, breathe deep of my rest. Let me renew your strength so that you might soar!'

Isaiah 40:31 (ESV) 'But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.' I've known this verse forever but I don't know if I've ever realized how the word wait prefaced all those other words we like so much: the renewal and the mounting up with eagle wings. The waiting proceeds the running that will not make us weary and the walking that won't be cause for fainting.
I'm not sure what season of life you're reading this from, but I believe we can all use an occasional reminder to bend our knees in rest that we might be better equipped to get back up and run our race. Or maybe your knees have been bent for you, like those camels in training. We may not always understand why life doesn't unfold as anticipated; why the job didn't start when we thought it would, why the prayers weren't answered with a 'yes', or why a great opportunity fell through. But what if we could see those delays, frustrations, and in-between periods as a forced rest from the One who knows us best and is preparing us for something more, something better?

While I do not consider The Message to be a translation of the Bible but rather a paraphrase, I do think it has some beautifully worded renderings of my favorite verses. This wording of Matthew 11:28-30 in The Message always resonates deeply. "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
May we walk closely with Jesus this week, looking to His life for the pattern of how to fully live and rest. May we acknowledge that the complications in our finely crafted plans may truly be a forced rest for our own good! I pray for the strength to recover our lives and take back what the world has tried to rob us off: the ability to wait for Him, that we might eventually soar. And when life is a freight train that we can't seem to slow down, let's bring our weary souls to the Giver of rest, for He is able and His burden is light.

Gulping In Air!

We have a five year old capable of talking continually- literally without pause- until he is out of breath! Then he pauses out of necessity, for an extra large gulp of air, before quickly jumping back in to his grand tale. We laugh, but then my husband tells me this is 100% a reflection of me and I'm not entirely convinced he means that as a compliment?!
As I made the trek into town recently, I realized I was, in fact, doing it! I was talking without a pause for breath, in my mind, to God! We had driven separate vehicles and the boys both opted for Daddy's truck, so I had 45 rather rare minutes to myself. Good thing, too- because I had much to discuss with the Creator! But as I came to a halt in rather the same manner as Owen, practically gasping for breath, it dawned on me that maybe the One on the other end of the conversation wanted a turn!

I find it ridiculously difficult to quiet my mind; to truly be still. Psalm 46:10 has become my go-to for attempts at 'meditating'. I work through the words one at a time: 'Be still, and know that I am God..' But it's easier said than done; my mind is so quick to wander! The Hebrew translation for that phrase 'be still': raphpah, lists the obvious 'to be quiet', but also 'to let go', 'to refrain, let alone', and 'to let drop, abandon, relax, refrain, forsake'. (Blue Letter Bible)
It's hard for me to let things alone, to relax fully into a moment and refrain from having an ever evolving to-do list in my mind, even if it's just simmering on an imaginary 'back burner'. It's almost impossible for me to fully let go, even though I am very aware that I'm not the one orchestrating all of life's details.
Living in a society that has elevated a fast paced, constantly connected, on-the-go lifestyle makes it feel wrong to simply 'be', to rest, to refrain from constant motion whether physically or mentally. Whether or not we are the 'talkers' of the family, I think most of us can admit to living our lives a bit like Owen's story telling method: break neck speed until we are forced to stop out of necessity.

And yet, this verse lists the stillness as a prerequisite for the knowing that follows. 'To know' in Hebrew is 'yada' and also translates as 'learn to know, perceive, find out, discern', and 'to recognize'. We pray to know Him more, we pray to know His will, we pray a list a mile long and then go about our day. But if we truly desire to recognize Him; to enter into this pursuit of our Beloved in a deeper, more intimate level of 'finding out' that will take our entire lifetime, we must first discover how to be still.
Ann Voskamp's words grab me as I ponder this tricky subject of rest and prioritizing in a rushing, fast-paced, 'need more hours in the day' world. 'It's never that we don't have enough time -- it's always that we have different priorities. The enemy plots our destruction through distraction -- distraction from God's word, God's voice, God's ways. Give up distractions -- to keep your soul from destruction... Time is made for what we love. Wherever love and priorities meet, time is made.'

So it is possible to make time and I know part of the solution lies there. My heart recognizes it and my head is slowly learning as I choose to carve out space in the day for what truly matters (or see the consequences when I fail to do so). But, again, it's easier said than done! Easier to scroll through social media for 10 minutes than open up God's word. Easier to label our phone calls, emails or a work out as 'necessary' while prayer slips through the cracks. I'm in this boat, too. Prioritizing requires sacrifice and a long, hard look at what actually matters most to us (vs. what we say matters to us). The story we want our lives to tell is currently being spelled out by how we choose to spend our minutes.
But there's still more depth to this. It is the quiet time in early hours; the whispered prayers before my boys awake. It's listening for the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit instead of just presenting Him with my daily list of requests and concerns. It has MUCH to do with learning when to say 'no' in order to keep myself from being stretched so thin that I'm no longer fully present for the real, live people God places in my path each day.
And yet, it's still bigger than acknowledging, and dealing with, our smart phone addiction. (Although that would be an excellent place for most of us to start!) I'm peeling back the layers and writing to you from the middle of my learning process, which is difficult because I haven't 'mastered' any of this.

'What if we stopped celebrating being busy as a measurement of importance? What if instead we celebrated how much time we had spent listening, pondering, meditating, and enjoying time with the most important people in our lives?' Greg McKeown 
I talk this out with my husband; he's my sounding board. He asks the questions that force me to think about other angles. I'm very excited about stillness and how it precedes the knowing. We talk about prioritizing and how it makes a tangible difference in my day when I've gotten up early to dig deep and talk with God. But then he says, 'What about when this stillness isn't realistic for the season you're in? How does this translate when you barely have time to sleep?' He's been working 90+ hours per week for over a year and rest has become a luxury; his question is valid. There are people in entirely different seasons of life than me and stillness can't possibly look the same for each person. So, I continue to search.

It was as I read a book by Jane Johnson called 'Mercy Like Morning' that my lightbulb moment occurred! This book has opened my eyes to not only the incredible DEPTHS of Scripture, but the treasures awaiting us when we commit to going deep. She equips her readers with practical ways to 'dig' and at one point, walks us through a word study on -you guessed it- the word 'rest'! I worked on this for days, tracking the many uses of this word throughout the Old and New Testament, and the many different Hebrew and Greek translations of it; absolutely mind-boggling! But I found what I was looking for as she spoke of Genesis 18 and Abraham's invitation to God and His traveling companions to stop for awhile and rest in the midst of a normal, much-left-to-accomplish kind of day.
'True biblical rest begins with inviting God into the chaos of my day... Rest beings with asking God to interrupt the work and the distractions and the day-to-day monotony, then choosing to sit down and rest-recline with Him.' And then she concludes, '...rest is asking God to sit awhile with you in the middle of it all. And then inviting His Spirit to remain with you while you finish your work.'  Jane Johnson 

So rest is stillness and the quieting of mind and body but it is also His Spirit WITH US while we finish our work! His rest can fill us, stay with us throughout our busy day, and enable us to finish well the work He created us to do. This is what I was searching for! My husband had pointed out that, although they have their place, this concept is infinitely bigger than 'putting our feet up' or 'taking some me time'. I'm realizing stillness is the exhale that invites God into the midst of it all, allowing us to inhale once again as we continue running our race. I love that!
Back up with me to that morning in the car when I was chatting God's ear off. Once I quieted my mind and was reminding myself to 'Be... Be still .... Be still and KNOW....' A song popped into my mind. I could only remember the first line, but I hummed the tune for the rest of the drive and felt infinitely more prepared for our appointment than I would have had I continued my endless rambling. Since then I searched for the lyrics and they are excellent. Here's the first verse..

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief and pain;

leave to thy God to order and provide;

in every change God faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend

through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

-Katherine von Schlegel

As you can tell, I'm only scratching the surface in both my discovery and implementing of these truths. (Brace yourselves for 'Part Two'!) But here's what I do know: Stillness and rest are necessary and lead to the intimate knowing we all long to be part of. While it seems counterintuitive, making time for 'rest' enables us for all that God wants to do in and through our lives. Redefining priorities, making time, and learning to say 'no' will be difficult and require sacrifice. Inviting God into our mess and to-do list means giving Him permission to cut things out and remind us of what matters to His heart!
Stillness may not be the same for each person or in various phases of life; rest doesn't look like 'one size fits all' but it is for all of us! God wants to meet us right now- in the midst of busy schedules, strained relationships, or difficult decisions- and create a sanctuary within us that we can better operate out of. And if that's not a breath of fresh air, worth coming to a screeching halt to gulp in, I honestly don't know what is!!

Glimpses of Grace

Winter has stripped the trees of their leaves; evidence of its frosty breath glistening on frozen blades of grass each morning. Over half of the country just experienced Antarctic-like temperatures during what is being labeled as a 'polar vortex'. I linger at the back door for a minute, after letting our brave pup out for his morning patrol, my fingers resting against the icy pane as the cold makes me shiver. I'm continually amazed by the drastic difference a change of season can bring, not only to the temperature, but in so many aspects of life. Seasons, with their rather dramatic difference in both pace and scenery, remind me to reflect on the passing of time.

Wasn't it just a few short months ago that we were spending every waking moment outside, digging in the mud and floating on (cannon-balling into) the river? Now our cheeks aren't red from forgetting the sunscreen but from the bite of wind on these brisk mornings. Instead of living in our swim suits, we now bundle up for crisp walks across icy fields and return with noses running and toes like popsicles.
Yet, soon the sweet summer months will be upon us again and we'll forget all about our tilting snowmen and the pain of frozen fingers as they thaw out. We won't be thinking about the beauty of each individual flake of snow (or 'frost falling from the sky' as Daniel recently referred to it in his scramble to find the word that had slipped his mind!) One month flows into the next as time marches on and I'm learning to identify God's faithfulness throughout it all.

The boys pull me away from the door, anxious to start mixing up the banana bread (there seems to be a significant increase in baked goods around here when the weather is chilly..), but I spot it right before I turn away. A bright red Cardinal flies right past the back porch! This was not my first spotting (and 'bird watching' is not exactly on my list of hobbies). The bird flits by, on the coldest of mornings, practically shouting 'All is well!' in defiant, crimson blur of hope and life against the backdrop of cold, gray winter. The contrast is stark and I can't help but grin.
I'm calling these red bird moments 'glimpses of grace'. Little things, rather easily glanced over, that, if noticed, have the power to change perspectives and breathe hope into weary souls. When I start paying attention to these red bird moments; tracking and piecing them together, they begin to create a startling masterpiece of goodness and grace. I jot them down in my journal; a sunset that takes my breath away, unexpected encouragement at the drive-thru window, a sloppy kiss from my growing-at-the-speed-of-light toddler, tea in the mail from my sweet friend; glimpses of grace and reminders of God's goodness in the middle of my mess!

After dropping my boys off at their AWANA classes each Wednesday night, I join a group of women hungry for more and we dig deep into the Bible. We are currently in Colossians and right there in the first chapter lies the reason for my red bird moments. Colossians 1:15-17 'The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 
Jesus, image of the Holy God we cannot see, created ALL things. And not only are 'all the things' created through Him and for Him, but He holds them all together... continually, constantly! His fingerprints are everywhere; literal glimpses of Grace Himself orchestrating every single detail of our existence. The invisible God allows these little windows into His great love for us; tangible reminders that His plans exceed our wildest expectations, if we will only trust Him. The Creator of Cardinals and sweet, sticky toddlers and the music we feel deep in our soul, sees us right here and now in the middle of our winter or impossible situation or weary soul. Grace longs for us to grab hold of these little reminders that He is at work.

'So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.' Hebrews 4:16

Last Saturday Owen had team pictures before his basketball game, which meant we had to leave the house at 7am. Even after two cups of coffee, I wasn't exactly 'firing on all cylinders'. (But the boys were impressed when I successfully scraped the ice off my windshield with a Costco card!) I hopped in the car, extremely thankful for heated seats, and headed up the road only to come to a quick stop again as I noticed the absolute perfection on my window. The frosty snowflakes, in perfect detail, were highlighted by the rising sun on the horizon and I was awestruck. It no longer mattered that we had exactly 45 minutes to make the 45 minute drive into town. I pulled over and pointed out the glory of that moment to my boys and we all exclaimed, 'Whoa, God!! Very cool!!' Glimpses of grace! At 7 am on a Saturday, because He's always at work!

Lamentations 3:22-26 'Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

So the question is whether or not we are anticipating these glimpses of Grace today? Turns out, it's extremely difficult to see these red bird moments when I am in a hurry, or distracted, or longing for spring, or anxious about upcoming decisions (and the list goes on..). But that doesn't change the fact that there is still Grace in abundance awaiting each of us. The invisible God is allowing VISIBLE glimpses of Himself at work, all around us, through the simplest of details. He is in the ridiculous splashes of colors amidst the bleakest circumstances. And the more we recognize His work; acknowledging His presence and His plan, the easier it will become to identify His fingerprints. He longs to answer us and has a lifetime of goodness to reveal, if we will only call on Him and trust His plan.

Jeremiah 33:2-3 "This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it- the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' "

Starting Small

My boys and I take a lot of walks, but they wouldn't usually describe it as such. In fact, they'd wrinkle their little noses and say 'No, thank you.' (hopefully, with those correct manners!) if you proposed this business of walk taking. That's because every single one of our walks start out as a simple search for 'adventure'.  Actually, backing up a bit farther, our walks start with checking the temperature and assuring them they do, in fact, need to wear their shoes in winter!
But once we're properly bundled, out the door, and on the hunt for adventure in its many shapes and sizes, we usually end up taking a walk! My little men don't realize my ulterior motives are fresh air and exercise but they absolutely know we have the best adventures outside. Starting small ('Boys, please grab your coats!') and using my words wisely ('Let's go find an adventure!') can make a significant difference in the motivation of tiny humans and, as it turns out, grown ups, as well!

I don't set resolutions anymore. At least, not the grandiose 'New Years' kind. There's nothing wrong with these, of course, and if that happens to be your motivational style then please keep on keeping on!! But I, personally, refuse to declare, 'Well, because it's the first day of January, I now resolve to keep my house spotless, start growing and canning all my own vegetables, work out every day without fail, make seven new friends this year, run my own in-home business, and (feel free to fill in the blank with any/all of your own lofty ambitions..)'
I've learned from past experience and a few free personality tests, that this is simply not realistic for me. I will eventually burn out, drop the ball and then become discouraged. Plus, I've come to terms with the fact that my introverted self may need an entire lifetime to find and develop genuine friendship with even just a few people!
It's not that I don't believe myself to be capable of achieving every single one of my goals.. eventually! But I'm learning to give myself grace as I grow and learn, take each moment as it comes, and not set myself up for failure by signing up for a marathon if I know my body is only ready for a 5K. I'm realizing the value to starting 'small' and growing daily in diligence and intentionality.
Diligence: 'careful and persistent work or effort.'
Intentionality: 'the fact of being deliberate or purposive. ' (and purposive: 'having, serving, or done with a purpose.')

'Your behavior is a reflection of what you truly believe' -Hyrum W. Smith

I don't make resolutions for the new year but I DO set small goals for my days, weeks, etc. They may not look very glorious on paper, but I've found that, in my life, the key is to start small and use the right verb-age, not unlike those 'adventure' walks with my young warriors. I don't tell the boys I'm ready to go walk a mile or two, because they don't usually think they're up for that! But if we're simply on a mission to find the perfect puddle, or in search of acorns for ammunition, or the right length of jousting spear, they are always up for an adventure!
Along those same lines, when I want to reduce the amount of 'stuff' in my home, I start with my closet instead of attempting to purge the entire house in one day. When I'm overwhelmed with the state of disarray in a certain room, I start by making the bed or cleaning off the counter (vs. burning it all down!) Start small, my friends! This is huge! If I want to be less distracted, I need to choose a sustainable place to start (logging off of Facebook) instead of something drastic that I'll quickly regret and/or undo, like getting rid of my phone completely or fantasizing about living in a time period where people couldn't even fathom bringing a telephone to the dinner table.

Instead of despairing over the extra long list of resolutions you wrote for this year, be encouraged by the fact that you can start fresh today and you can start with one thing. Right now is the best possible time to begin implementing a small change into our lives, and those small changes will stack like bricks to create the foundation of a life lived on purpose! Then we do these small things again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, until we can't remember not doing it that way; not making the bed every morning or washing our face before bed or spending even just 10 minutes out in the fresh air!
God doesn't require that we read 'x' amount of His word each year. But I'm finding that the deeper we dig into His word, the more we come to know Him and that is when we will understand His will and then, as a result, want to dig deeper! So, you can commit to read through the Bible in a year but what matters more than that accomplishment is our simply choosing to read a chapter of the Bible every day and allowing the Holy Spirit to change us from the inside out. Shoot, start with a few verses if that's all you 'have time' for, but don't stop there- that is key. When we go walking we put on our coats, we go outside, we start searching for sticks, or eagles, or wild blackberries, and then we go walking! Dressing properly for the weather is where we must start but it would be silly to stop there.
Romans 12:2 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.'

Dear Readers, let's start small. May we be encouraging to ourselves and whoever is journeying alongside us. And let's work with diligence and intentionality to turn these small starts into habits that can change the way we live. I recently read some of Charlotte Mason's writings on the development of habits in young children and how vital this is to the formation of their character. 'Every day, every hour, the parents are either passively or actively forming those habits in their children upon which, more than anything else, future character and conduct depend.' Charlotte Mason
I'm not sure about you, but I find that massively inspiring and secretly terrifying. Such power we hold! What are our actions, words, and priorities teaching our kids about life? The things we allow and encourage in our homes, the behavior we insist upon (or let slide) will become habits for them. Even if you don't have tiny humans watching your every move, you must still consider your sphere of influence, and our very lives! 'Every day, every hour' habits are being formed and those habits shape lives- lives that could change the world. I pray that this thought would sink deep in to each and every one of us; that we would truly understand why starting small, right now, is a really big deal.

'It's not what we do every now and then- but what we do every day that changes everything.' 

Ann Voskamp

Battle Cry.

He said it as we waited in that long, snaking line of traffic headed towards the National Harbor. The sun had already dipped below the horizon but we were anticipating the splendor of fireworks against the black, night sky and we could glimpse the brightness of twinkling, Christmas lights in grand display.
"You know what I say at night when I'm starting to feel scared, Mom?"
'What's that, Buddy?' I asked.
My five year old responded, "I say, 'Immanuel'. That means God with us."
I told him I loved that idea; we talked about how he feels peace after he talks with Jesus and how he remembers that Immanuel is right there with him in the midst of darkest night. And then the conversation moved on, rather seamlessly, to hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. But I was quiet in the front seat, treasuring our conversation in all its profound simplicity. I'm still pondering this knowledge my son is beginning to know deep within- God with us.

Thankfully, our boys have never really dealt with nightmares. But we have had to battle other fears that try to grab hold of their minds. For a few weeks this past summer, Owen struggled with being apart from us- even just being in a different room of the house than I was. He absolutely needed to know where his Dad or I were at all times, and that made bed time especially difficult. Some nights it would take him over an hour to fall asleep and he would keep calling out, 'Are you doing dishes, Mom?' or 'Are you still working in your office, Dad?'
We started praying 'warrior prayers' with him and talking about his mind as a precious treasure that both good and evil want to stake their claim on. Fear is the Devil's strategy and we choose whether or not to listen to his lies or fight back with all our strength and the Holy Spirit's help. This 'battle talk' made sense to our young warrior and he grabbed on to the fact that he could DO something about this problem and even fight back. Owen knew we would never leave home without him, but as soon as we would head into another room, that thought would rise up. Recognizing it as a lie started to make a difference.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 became our battle cry, 'For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.'

For weeks we talked about Jesus being the Peace that literally stands guard over our hearts and minds and both boys loved imagining the epic battles being fought at all times (with extra large, flaming swords, of course!) for TRUTH! Before falling asleep at night Owen would say, 'Read the verses, Mom!' and then we would pray hard, as warriors, for victory in this battle. Most nights I would return to his room after he fell asleep and continue to pray against that fear.
Owen is not afraid anymore. Of course, he still battles with fears. But he is not irrationally afraid in ways that make him panic. He's always had a 'need to know', but I believe that's a first born tendency. He plays happily in the backyard again, even if I'm only watching from the window, and he falls asleep contentedly every night. I'm sure there will be other battles down the road, but this one has been won! And now that we have passed through that type of fear, God with us carries significantly more weight for both him and I! Light seems much brighter after you've walked through the dark.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear; for I am with you..

I started typing this up a few days before Christmas. But, of course, life happened and we went on a trip to CO. and here I am posting it a week into the new year. I think it's rather fitting, though, because the birth of Jesus into our messy, dark, and broken world should be celebrated and proclaimed every day of the year! No matter what we're facing; the darkness we have walked through, or pain we may be feeling, the Light of the world came down to us and because of that we can have hope!
Matthew 1:21-23 'She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.' All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel' (which means 'God with us')."
Immanuel bridged the gap and became the way for each of us to access Truth that can light up the darkest night and Peace that crushes all fear! Hope came as a baby, born in a stable, which means He can enter right into the midst of our hard and ugly, too. He was laid in a manger, which means nothing surprises him! And He was welcomed by travel-weary, first time parents and shepherds straight from the hillside, which means he doesn't need us to clean up our act first, he just wants us to come.

The lights at the Harbor that night were incredible, and it was because the night was pitch black. Isn't that's how it always works, though, with the drastic contrast? We don't even know to long for peace until we've endured a season of turmoil. The comfort of friendship can bring us to tears only after knowing what it is to be completely alone. And into a world where fear and chaos appear to be running rampant, Immanuel comes down; the contrast is startling and Satan trembles.
The enemy of our souls knows that there is an end in sight. But until that glorious day comes, Satan will do his very best to drag us down into darkness with him; robbing us of joy, peace, and hope. We can choose to fight back, though- just ask Owen! We can take thoughts captive, by the power of God's Spirit, learning to see through those masquerading lies. Jesus is with us and He fights for us. While we may have to do battle every single day we are on this earth, we can know the war has already been won. In John 16:33 Jesus says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." May Immanuel be our battle cry every day of the year because 'God with us' makes all the difference!

Glory to the light of the world

For all who wait

For all who hunger

For all who've prayed

For all who wonder

Behold your King

Behold Messiah

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

-Lauren Daigle