learning to 'be'..

Last week I spent five hours chasing a one and a half year old around.  We blew bubbles and drew pictures- read here: I drew and she alternated between throwing crayons and attempting to eat them!  We went to the swings, we did laps on a scooter and then we did laps in a stroller.  We turned pots, pans and every type of kitchen utensil into a drum set.  We ate mountain apples and I tried to read her a book but she decided it would be more fun to throw that, too.  Then we repeated all this.. several times.  She was very sweet.  She also required my constant attention.  After she went home I realized I hadn't eaten lunch and, after scarfing down a bowl of cereal, I promptly fell asleep.. at 5PM.

This experience caused a bit of what I'm labeling 'pre-baby anxiety'.  If one afternoon was all it took to knock me out cold, how in the world will I handle being on duty 24/7?!  Thankfully, God met me in this place of fear and uncertainty, reminding me that I won't be giving birth to a toddler!  Yes, it will be a full time job and I will be pushed beyond my limits.  Exhaustion may become the new 'rested' and my days may seem slightly less 'productive'.  But the joy of walking (or, rather, racing!) through life with our beautiful son will be immeasurable and far outweigh any and all adjustments we make.  Derek and I will learn as we go, taking it one phase at a time.  When we first meet Baby Pearl he will most assuredly be opinionated but, thankfully, we'll have a little time before he starts walking and talking!  Each day will be a new challenge and God will give us strength for the individual moments.
Throughout my days I encounter countless occasions that prepare me for motherhood.  After spending the morning sweeping, vacuuming and mopping I sat down to enjoy my sparkling house only to witness Kai come through like a tornado, leaving muddy paw prints in his wake.  Hopefully the saying, 'it's the thought that counts' applies to cleaning, too?  But these things must be taken in stride and I can only imagine the train wrecks I will encounter with this wild baby growing in my belly.

[You don't stay mad at this guy for very long..]

Other reminders: a rainbow in the sky that made me stop what I was doing and just 'be'; to appreciate and soak up the beauty and God's goodness!  I was driving down the road and saw a bubble machine on the sidewalk, there was no one around and it was just blowing bubbles all over this empty parking lot and into the street.  I LOVED it!  The little things in life are the best and I will teach my son to cherish what usually goes unnoticed.  Actually, I'm sure he'll be the one pulling me over to examine a cocoon or climb a tree :)  I want him to know that God loves those moments and orchestrates them for us to enjoy- to forget our worries, abandon our fears and simply run through the sprinklers or gaze up at the stars.
We heard the little man's heartbeat at our check-up this week, galloping along at top speeds, he's healthy and growing right on track!  I'm also doing very well.  This was the week for a few tests to be done and I was nervous about all the blood drawing on the agenda.  (Bad experiences in high school..)  Thankfully my body is pumping out a lot more blood than it used to and, other than bruised arms, I'm no worse for the wear after three times under the needle.  Worse than any visit to the lab was a run-in with some angry wasps at the greenhouse!  I only came away with two bites, but they were on the same finger and it took several days for the itching and swelling to go down.  So much for spring cleaning at the farm!

[can't WAIT to start dressing 'Peanut'!]

My latest craving: cinnamon rolls!  And I woke up and made them, too- complete with cream cheese frosting!  Who knew that pregnancy would be my push to another level of culinary achievements?  Not so culinary but also high on my list of favorites these days are the Costco hotdogs!  Say what you will but they are tasty!  Costco is also the cheapest place to go on a date.. I almost feel bad every time we eat there, like we've ripped them off somehow.  Seriously, two slices of pizza, a hot dog and a drink for $5.60?!  You can't beat that.
Week 29 didn't bring too much new-ness to the pregnancy scene.  I have had stiff muscles and my sweet husband attempts to massages them in whichever awkward position I feel the need to lay in.  There's also been a few bouts of insomnia.  My mind decides it wants to operate at full steam starting at 4AM and returning to my dreams is next to impossible.  Not usually one to toss and turn, I'm realizing how my comfort level will continue to decrease in the next few months.  But a body pillow has been added to the shopping list and I'm hoping that will remedy the situation.

Derek's schedule has been chock-full of work and we are incredibly grateful.  He is such a hard worker and a man of many talents.  It makes me so proud to see people recognizing and utilizing those skills!  Needless to say, I'm very thankful for all he does to support our little family and brainstorm for the future.  I also can't complain when I get to ride along on a job that happens to be at the water front.  Derek works his magic on the yard while I read my book and watch the waves crash against the rocks five feet in front of me.
This weekend we were able to attend a phenomenal party.  A friend of ours is launching a 'one stop party shop' business for catering, entertainment, flower arrangements, etc.  This party was their debut and people came from all over to see what they're all about.  She figured the bigger and better it was, the more likely to stick in people's minds.  So she invited friends and family to fill up the venue and we had a great night full of laughter and music, fire dancing and delicious pig straight out of the Imu!

This week I did a lot of learning in the simplicity department; being aware of the beautiful moments happening around me.  We got a lot done and the days, as usual, flew by.  But there was so many sweet moments of just.. being.  One of my favorite things is sitting outside after dinner and witnessing the day come to a close.  Simply being in the presence of my Creator.. my Daddy, is the best part of the day.  Also, to BE with Derek, uninterrupted.. just talking out the day or sitting in silence while the sun sets, is incredible!  Thinking about raising a child has me re-focusing on these 'little things' and learning to be present despite that to-do list or a reminder on my phone.  I know that will be an enormous part of  'communication' with my son; words are important but actions say so much more than I realize.  That's how my Father is with me- always present and constantly desiring to be with me, teach me and walk with me through each day.  In a world of schedules and chaos and the need to feel productive, God's teaching me to simply 'be' and it is wonderful.