Because of Grace!

It was the eve of Mother's Day and the meltdown was epic. By far, the worst one to date. I'll spare you the gruesome details. We didn't finish our errands and Owen and I both cried on the way home. I didn't feel like an awesome Mom. I didn't feel one bit worthy of this calling.
But there is grace. Thank goodness for GRACE!
Regardless of who we are or what path we're on, I'm willing to bet we've all had moments of feeling the exact opposite of awesome. We are all unworthy. And yet we are loved unconditionally by a God who has every reason to condemn us. Unexplainable, ridiculous grace.

But we don't receive grace so that we can stay where we are. Or we shouldn't, anyway. Grace should move us, transform us. When my tiny son grabs me around the neck and growls (his version of a 'bear' hug), it makes me want to be everything that he believes me to be. His acceptance of this mama, glaring faults and all, and forgiveness of my short comings is not a license to continue in my frustration but to strive for excellence! His grace inspires.
You know who else was given grace? The woman we get to meet in John 8. She is dragged to the very front of a crowd and her unworthiness, her short comings are declared before everyone within hearing distance. 'This woman was caught in the act of adultery.' And they don't care one bit about this woman; these religious leaders are simply using her to test Jesus. 'The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?' But Jesus bends down and writes in the dust with his finger.
I imagine the stunned silence of the gathered crowd has turned into a low hum of murmuring and whispers. As the leaders continue in their demand for answers Jesus responds, 'All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!' And he continues his writing in the dust. He's taken the heat from their argument, turned the accusations around. Who here has NEVER fallen short, Jesus wants to know, because they're the only ones with room to judge.

And as her accusers slip away in silence, the Teacher glances up in feigned surprise and asks where they went. 'Didn't even one of them condemn you?' She answers, 'No, Lord' And Jesus, the only One without a single short-coming, extends grace, beautiful grace. "Neither do I. Go and sin no more."  [taken from John 8:1-11]
Woah. Talk about grace that inspires. Obviously this woman was going to sin again... we all do, no matter how outstanding our intentions. But Jesus saw beyond that when He forgave her, freed her and said 'sin no more'. He saw in her the desire and ability to rise above. He saw what no one else saw. Jesus looked into those eyes, downcast with shame, and saw potential for greatness! And I don't know how her story goes from that point on, but I wouldn't doubt that her encounter with the Messiah inspired her to rise above.
So I want to be a grace-giver. I want to see in people what may be hidden beneath a rough exterior or particularly hard day. I also want to choose to live in the freedom that Jesus has given. He sees me, eyes downcast as I berate myself for screwing it up again and He says, 'Daughter, I don't condemn you. Now GO and sin no more!' His grace inspires me to be a better mama, a better wife, a better friend than I was yesterday. And because He extends His hand to me and picks me up out of the dust of this life, I can choose to give grace, too. I will choose to live in the freedom that Grace died to give me and I will strive to be all that He already knows I can be!
Today is a fresh start because of Grace! And we can be made new.. because of Grace!

What Am I Thirsty For??

If ever you begin to lose your sense of wonder just take a little boy to the ocean and experience it through his eyes. (Or anywhere outdoors, really... this is just what applies to our current living situation.) The water is magnificent and exciting; salty and surprising and every shade of turquoise imaginable. Fish dart below the surface, just out of reach, racing to and fro in their castles made of coral. Crabs skitter along the rocks, daring us to catch them.
And when we are out deep, just us and our paddle boards, we can be anything; explorers seeking a new land, oceanographers charting the high seas, pirates in search of treasure. We had a whole pod of dolphins surface around us this last week and it was incredible. Owen knows about them from the picture books, but this was his first time seeing the real deal and they gave him quite a show.

What I find fascinating is how the little man could be in/at the water all day everyday and it doesn't lose its thrill! We literally have to drag him away from it. And he wakes up in the morning requesting 'Simming!' 'Jump in?' 'Padda boadin?!' What an experience this is for him, for us! We are definitely taking advantage of our proximity to the sea and I hope that, like Owen, I won't let myself begin to take it for granted. Unfortunately, I think it's human nature. I spent 20 years of my life nestled in the base of a majestic mountain range and I had no idea how awesome it was! Wherever we go we grow accustomed to our surroundings and eventually the magic fades.
But my son doesn't know this yet and I'm so thankful. The ocean has as much to offer him today as it did yesterday. What if I could see life like that? What if I woke up ready to jump in and swim? What if the wonder didn't have to fade? I'll be completely honest with you; I'm almost always thirsty for adventure, for a new experience, for something more.

I have a sweet friend that is keeping me accountable to get up in the mornings and start my day with Psalms and praying. It is so good for me. Last week she had a new idea, one that was simple and yet loaded with potential. The two of us have been saying a simple prayer every time we drink water. 'Jesus, work in my heart. Work deeply within me.' That's it. But when those words come out of your mouth twenty, thirty, fifty times a day (depending on how camel-like I'm feeling)... that's big.
And now I can't get away from this idea of thirsting for Jesus, it's everywhere I look. One of my devotions last week was on the Samaritan woman at the well and did you know she kept dipping her bucket in water that couldn't satisfy? Life had lost its wonder. But Jesus comes along and said she should have asked HIM for water and He would have given her living water! [John 4:10]

Maybe that's the point. This world will always leave us thirsty. And life's beauties, no matter how grandiose, will inevitably lose a bit of their wonder. Maybe it's not about discovering a secret way to keep everything magical, maybe it's not even bad that I long for so much more... maybe it's simply that I'm thirsting for the wrong water.
I keep dipping my bucket in all these different wells when Jesus has abundantly more to offer. In John 4:13 He told that sweet, thirsty woman, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." Woah. That is the liquid I need. As the 'SheReadsTruth' devotional put it, "Only Jesus can quench our soul-deep thirst'. And while I love my son's sense of wonder I know that, unfortunately, he will not always be so easily awed or entertained. And that's okay, because we will point him to the only Source that can satisfy.

The journey continued as I opened my Bible the next morning to Psalm 42 and the first two verses were pointed directly at me. 'As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?' Is that what kind of thirsty I am? Do I really truly believe that He is my lifeline. Do I know, in the same way animals know their absolute dependence on water, that it is vital I fill up on Jesus every single day or I won't survive? Staying really hydrated today does not let me off the hook for tomorrow!
And I don't have it all figured out, obviously. I may be a pipe-dream-chaser for all my days. But as I journey through these days I know I need to be filling myself with water that quenches, water that wells up into eternal life. Because there will be times when life loses it's thrill; we will pass through especially dry seasons and the only One that never loses His wonder is Jesus. May He be the water we thirst for. May we dive ever deeper into the abundance He offers..