Legacy of Love

So, I'm just going to say it: We're all searching for the meaning of life.  We want to know why we're here, if we matter, and whether anything we do today will make any difference at all.  I mean, seriously. We read books, peruse the blogs and seek out inspiration in its various forms. Sure, there are phases where we feel incredibly motivated and fulfilled but, for one reason or another, the search continues. This weekend I discovered an old truth in a new way.  I gleaned treasure from an unexpected source.

I've never been especially fond of funerals. (Not that anyone really is..) But we went to one this weekend; a memorial service.  A wonderful woman fought a fierce battle with cancer and is now dancing with Jesus.  I didn't ever have the privilege of meeting her; we are friends of the family. Derek did meet her, right after a bout with chemo but before you could see the vibrant life being drained from her body.
We went in support of the family but by the time we left I felt as though I was family. This woman's love for Jesus was so incredibly contagious; it spilled out of every single person that got up to share and it wrapped itself around all those who had gathered. Her faith is one that will continue to impact and inspire countless lives. And without ever having met this woman, she was able to remind me of truth that none of 'the books' can quite sum up. She knew that the only thing that outlives these bodies we inhabit is the love we give away. Love is what makes anything worth doing; makes every moment matter!

This woman left a legacy of love; love for Jesus and love for all those around her. She has four sons and they each stood up and shared about their Mom. I haven't been to a funeral since becoming a Mama and I had no idea how their words would affect me. These boys, now men with lives and babes of their own, talked of a woman who had always been for them.  The road she journeyed in this life was not an easy one, but she kept her eyes on the One who makes it worth walking and let His love flow through her.  They remembered her coming for them time and time again, sitting with them, praying over them; she never gave up on them and their lives are testimony of her love!
When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment He replied ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” [Matthew 22:37-40]

That sums it all up, then; love? And we're wondering if it can be that simple. I know you're facing hard decisions or overwhelming debt, family members are sick or maybe life feels exhausting and mundane.  I'm over here just rolling meatballs, singing the alphabet song, changing poopy diapers and wondering when I last did my crunches. What we do today may seem like nothing special but if it translates to LOVE to even one person, then it means everything.
Jesus said it all hangs on this and I believe Him! I saw it spelled out this weekend as people stepped up and said how this woman never gave up on them and that love changed their life. She journeyed alongside many people, sharing Jesus like a broken record and...yeah, in the end, it meant everything! Paul writes it to the Galatians, 'the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.'  [Galatians 5:6]
So, don't give up. Please don't underestimate what you're doing today. Live in love; let it spill over into everything you do, no matter how weary you may be. Love makes the difference; only Love can soften hearts and it is Love that will continue working long after you've left this world and gone to dance with Jesus.

'Child, YOU MATTER!'

Sitting indian-style there on the grass, I offered up my apology.  At first, it appeared as though my son's sole focus was shredding tiny flowers from the bush in our front yard.  But when my ramblings came to an end, he took a pause from the flower demolition job.  He picked a single, pink bud between miniature thumb and index finger and oh-so-carefully brought it to his Mama.  He looked into my eyes, smiled and then was off.  He brought me more flowers, filled my whole skirt with them.  We started tossing pink buds in the air, letting them rain down on us while we giggled.  Just like that I was forgiven; shortcomings forgotten.  Sweet, sweet grace.
The reason for my apology lie somewhere between dragging Owen all across this side of the island, being a check-list gestapo and also 'needing' to attend to one hundred and one things on my phone.  All he wanted was to go outside; my sweet boy.  I know that our life can't revolve around what he wants and errands must be run but, honestly, this day I had pushed too hard.  He brought me my shoes as I vacuumed, pulled on my leg as I layered the lasagna.  I kept saying 'Almost, love... almost.'  And when we actually made it outside, just minutes before the sun was about to set, I finally got it.  Finally realized that in the rush to get everything done it's so easy to brush past the few things that matter

I've found that the sweetest of times may transpire from the most basic of ingredients.  Whether I'm with Derek or Owen or a sweet friend, the beautiful moments are made up of simply sharing in life together.  It doesn't have to be gourmet or spic' and span or expertly planned.  Looking someone in the eye and being there whether they want to talk or not; loving, laughing and refusing to be distracted- these are the only ingredients necessary to let someone know they matter!  My boys certainly appreciate delicious food but they'll be perfectly content with bean and cheese burritos if it means I'm actually sitting with them, enjoying the moment.  There's a balance of course, which I learn and re-learn on a daily basis.  But it's possible that I tend to speak a love language of doing when the ones around me hear love best through my simply being.
It was first thing in the morning, I had just heated up Owen's milk and we were both sitting on the floor rubbing sleep from our eyes.  The coffee was taking exceptionally long to brew and I was wondering why, exactly, the day had begun so early.  But pretty soon I made funny eyes at him and some milk spilled out of his crooked grin. A tickle fight ensued and the day seemed a bit less daunting.  It reminded me of times spent on the floor with MY Dad, eating ice cream and discussing the mysteries of life or... nothing at all.  I don't remember why we sat on the kitchen floor, I just remember that we did; that he would get down there with me and nothing else mattered which conveyed the most beautiful truth to me: that I MATTERED!

So, life is crazy over here.  Owen is, quite literally, a ball of energy.  Yesterday, before I could even grasp what was happening, he climbed onto a chair, pulled himself up the back and SUMMERSAULTED over the top.  Thankfully, he landed straight in my lap, but I'm fairly certain that was coincidence!  His pediatrician predicts that if he stays on his current growth curve, he'll be six feet tall!  Oh, and he's been peeing in his little man toilet!  (But, if we're being honest here I should probably admit that he's also peed on his favorite teddy bear and all over the living room rug!  Am I allowed to duct tape the diaper onto this child?)  He learns new words on a daily basis and brings us more joy than we ever thought possible!!  But, yeah.. it's a crazy life!
A few nights ago, on the way home from a downtown adventure, I reached back to the little man's carseat and he grabbed onto my hand.  His little fingers wrapped tight around mine and he held fast until we got home; a good 10 minutes!  I told Derek my arm was cramped up in ways I didn't realize possible, but there was NO WAY I was retracting my hand.  Those moments are the cherry on top.  In his own way, my tiny son was letting me know that I matter.  It can be all crazy and messy and 'Owweeennnn, stop pulling the cat's tail!'  But in that still, sweet moment with his fingers grasping mine, I know that I matter to him more than he'll ever be able to put into words.  And when my husband asks me, at the end of a day, when it's quiet and I have room to answer honestly, 'How are you holding up?' I know it then too, that he truly sees me and that I matter.
Isn't this what is so astonishing about God's grace and what He did for us?!  We matter to the King of kings! When we were at our worst He sent His Son to take our place. And in spite of having absolutely nothing to offer, He chooses US!  He gets down on our level, meets us where we're at, whispers 'Child, YOU MATTER!' He redeems us! Romans 5:8 'But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.'  And when we first realize this truth it's breathtaking; it drops us to our knees.  But as the years go by, the intensity can fade and the routine can take over and perhaps it's time to stop rushing and remember the price that was paid.  Maybe the only One that matters is calling, waiting, longing to spend time with us.  Nothing fancy, just us and Him and the truth about where we're at- but it could be the most beautiful part of our day!  It could make all the difference.
I don't know where you're at today.  Maybe you desperately need to hear the words, 'Child, YOU MATTER!' Perhaps you are lost, forgotten, broken or just distracted; it makes no difference. Jesus sees you and He will meet you where you're at because you mean EVERYTHING to Him!  Or maybe you need to rearrange some priorities; be deliberate about letting people in your life know that THEY matter to you!  More than the lists, more than keeping up appearances, more than social media or whatever your addiction may be; the people in your life (in MY LIFE!) matter more and today is the day to show them.
So, let's get after it..

Oh yes, you can!

Our son has a thick head of hair on him.  So thick and long, in fact, that it was irritating his eyes and causing his head to sweat profusely on hot afternoons.  Obviously it was hair cut time, but I was in denial.  I knew that cutting off the locks would only expedite his growing into a toddler.  Beyond that excuse, however, was an enormous lack of confidence on my part.  See, I don't know how to cut hair!  Sure, I trim Derek's every few months but my 'training' really just consists of watching both of our mothers in action.
You can imagine my distress upon hearing Derek casually announce over breakfast, 'Owen, your Mom is giving you a hair cut today!'  I balked.  My husband wasn't phased.  'I can't!' was my earnest plea. His answer, 'Oh yes, you can!'  And, obviously, I did.  That was a few weeks ago and, although I did tackle it in two phases, I must admit to being pretty pleased with the end product.  (And Owen is very appreciative!)  It wasn't the challenge in my husband's eye that made me step up to the plate, however.  It was his confidence in me!  He saw what I could not.

My husband has a knack for seeing beyond the obvious.  I've given many of his projects the 'lost cause' label only to be proved very wrong by the final product.  He can transform overgrown jungle into landscaped bliss.  He revived an ancient, rusty wood chipper into a stump eating machine!  He sees possibility even though it may require time, money, failed attempts, blood, sweat and or tears.  Once my husband catches a glimpse of the potential and deems the cause a worthy one, look out, he is the definition of a 'man on a mission'.
I love being married to Derek.  Of course I give him grief about all his different undertakings, but the truth is: he's ingenious and incredibly talented.  My husband has encouraged me in ways he'll never even realize; pushing me to live out my full potential, challenging me to pursue my gifts and passions, inspiring me to try... well, anything!  Apparently, if it can be Googled- it can be mastered.  And his vote of confidence is not only transforming forgotten trees and broken down tractors, but a wife that desperately needs to hear, 'Oh yes, you can!'

Just another day at the office...

Derek encourages me to jump off of cliffs (and out of airplanes!), to play more piano, bake more pies and apply for jobs I feel extremely under qualified for.  Because of him I've learned to dive deeper, I've realized I DO know how to cut hair and if he has his way, I'll write a book someday.  He knows my heart and he can call out the best in me even when I've had the worst of days.  How much more so, does Jesus see potential in me?  In all of us.  Yes, my best friend knows my heart, but Jesus MADE that heart.  

When I feel burnt out, overwhelmed or discouraged, God reminds me that I am more than a conqueror through Him who loved me! [Romans 8:37]  When I want to give up He reminds me that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me! [Philippians 4:13]  When I feel unmotivated He says that I am 'His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand," [Ephesians 2:10]  Christ Jesus sees massive potential IN ME.  He's chosen me for a purpose and despite my many faults, when He looks at me there is confidence in his eyes, too!  

I may still feel incredibly under qualified for the tasks at hand; apart from watching my Mama do it, I have no 'training' in discipling a mini man, loving my husband well or making our home a place that inspires.  But the God that calls into being things that were not can certainly see what I can't.  He says He's given me all I need and as I dig my heels in once again, scrambling for excuses, my Papa simply smiles and says, 'Oh yes, you can!'