When NOT to take pictures..

He wrapped both arms AND legs around my middle, squeezed hard and then leaned back to look at my face.  He touched my nose with his tiny, little index finger and simply said 'Mama!'  What a way to start the day.  How could I possibly turn him down, then, when he requested an early morning chicken hunt?  With toothbrush (his current weapon of choice) in hand and sleep barely rubbed out of the eyes, Owen continued 'balk, balk, balk'ing until we ventured out into a brand new morning.  We didn't find any balkers on that particular outing, but we chattered away and then we were silent and we pointed out each puffy cloud all tinged with pink.  Another moment for my internal scrapbook.
Pages are filling up fast in my mind.  Derek scoops up our little man and wrestles him into tickling position, their laughter bubbling over while I brew the coffee.  I can't take a picture of that and, honestly, in my scrambling to capture the beauty of those flailing limbs and giggling sounds I'll miss the moment.  I'm learning to simply enjoy it.
Now, some moments simply BEG to be photographed and there's plenty of opportunity for that; more than enough snap shots to be framed.  But I'm learning to be content with mental pictures, too.  I'm learning when not to take pictures; when not to scramble and click and obsess over the perfect angle.  There is a time to snap away, please don't get me wrong.  But there are most definitely occasions where grabbing for a camera or phone will, unintentionally, convey to my boys that 'capturing the moment' is somehow more important than actually being in it with them.
Things got quiet this morning as I scrubbed oatmeal from the bottom of a pan and quiet means I need to investigate...fast!  There on the porch sat my son and our dog.. little arm flung over furry neck, boy and his best friend gazing at the potential of this day.  I tried to sneak a picture but the pooch heard me and jumped up, Owen took a digger and why couldn't I just stand there and take it in?!
I should know already.  It's like the sunsets here.  I'm always trying to 'capture' them in pictures, but it's an impossible task.  There is no way that all the glory, majesty and streaking colors; the dramatic accents and ginormous, sinking ball of fire melting into glassy sea could be contained within a single click of my iPhone.  I must learn to simply soak it in.
Last weekend I sat on the grass next to my husband, mesmerized by the dancing of bonfire flames.  Friends laughed and marshmallows were roasted and there was no need for anything but being right there.  It was wonderful.
I didn't mean to write this post.  My intention was to scribe something sweet about the beauty of moments.  But then all of this spilled out and now I keep thinking of Psalm 46:10  'He says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth,"  And another version phrases it 'Cease striving..'  And maybe that's what it all bubbles down to; not whether it's okay to take pictures of beautiful moments, but whether or not I'm seeing God in those moments?  Do I know Him well enough that I recognize His signature everywhere I look?  Am I intimately familiar with my Heavenly Father, to the point where giving thanks to Him [in all things! 1 Thessalonians 5:18] feels as natural and necessary as breathing?  If not, the answer is simple- 'Be still and know that I am God'  It's in the stillness that we will come to know Him, it's when strivings cease that we can truly live.
The definition for 'striving' is to 'make great efforts to achieve or obtain something, to struggle or fight vigorously.'  As this truth is reavealed this morning, and you're reading it as fast as I'm realizing it, I see that this is about struggling to capture something that I have been freely given.  I'll still be taking plenty of pictures, no doubt about that, but I'll be making time to NOT take pictures, too!  As the moments unfold in front of me today I want to be deliberate about recognizing them, identifying the Giver and then giving thanks for it all.  A picture's worth a thousand words but maybe being still and being in the moment could be worth infinitely more. 

Little Man Resume

Fourteen months old, 23 pounds heavy and busy as the day is long.  Hobbies include dog wrestling, coffee table scaling and jungle exploration in search of wild chickens!  Never too early to start working on the ol' resume, right?!  Oh, I've gotten ahead of myself... this is Owen, filling in for Mom because sometimes life just leaves her speechless.  Plus, I wanted to be the one to regale you with details of my latest adventures... like rock climbing and surfing lessons!  Have I mentioned that I love life?

My parents sorely underestimated my upper body strength until we checked out a super cool park in town.  Now they have a little more respect for my climbing abilities!  I also had my first surf session with Dad.  Usually Mom and I play in the water while he catches the waves, so this was pretty epic!  I see a lot more of these activities in my future... I mean, why not make the most of every minute we're alive!?
Psalm 16:11 'You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.'

Oh, add to the work experience section: professional lawn mower and up-and-coming mechanic.  How can I not be with a Dad like mine?  We put an add in the paper for his tree service (he says someday it can be Pearl & Sons Tree Service!) and that's brought in quite a few new jobs!  So many, in fact, that we had to invest in a diesel truck to pull around the wood chipper!  All these loud, manly toys are absolutely my favorite and I hang out with/on them every chance I get.

 Mom and I are thankful for such a hard working Dad that allows us to have adventures all day long!!  We like to play games, go exploring, read books, eat fruit and have dance parties.  Sometimes I think she abuses the 'adventure' label, though- like when it comes to sweeping and scrubbing the entire house.  She came up with this idea that if I'm old enough to walk, I'm old enough to have chores!  So, I'm in charge of feeding the dog and cats, carrying my plate to the sink, watering plants and a few other 'adventures' that I'm fairly certain used to be her job.  Mothers these days...   

                                       

At least she feeds me spaghetti for my efforts.  Lots of it!! 

When Dad's working on the weekends we take him lunch and say 'TIMBER' as the trees come down.  When he isn't working....we got to check out the carnival!!  Talk about over-stimulated in the best possible way!  Lights, sounds and smells in every direction.  Screaming kids and cotton candy, helicopter rides and big, scary clown faces.  It was completely awesome and no, I did not go into a sugar coma afterwords.  But speaking of favorite foods, I've acquired a taste for salsa on my eggs, thanks to Dad.  I also like spinach in my smoothies but Dad doesn't get the credit for that one.

As far as references for my resume, there's quite a few awesome people at my church that will vouch for me.  I even got to spend time with an 'Auntie' and 'Uncle' while Dad and Mom had a belated anniversary date.  They've been married for four whole years and I guess a little time on their own wasn't too much to ask..  Plus, look how nice they clean up!

Well, that's about enough words for now.  No matter how pretty a life can look on paper, what really matters is what fills your days; making an adventure out of the average and taking every opportunity to love, laugh, thank Jesus... and eat cotton candy!!  

Till next time,

Owen J.

'little by little'

Today as I power washed Owen's high chair I thought to myself,  'Yet another thing they forgot to mention in prenatal classes!'  There's quite a bit that, I'm discovering, can take you by surprise in the parenting journey.  I've met three first-time, expectant mama's in the last few weeks and I've found myself, shockingly enough, at a loss for words when I try to describe the past 14 months with our little man!  Sure, I could tell them about the thousands of diapers they will change... I think we're nearing the 3,000 mark!  I could mention the sleepless nights, because there will be those in plenty and they will reveal strengths and weaknesses you've never known existed.  But that's not really what has me scrambling for words...

Raising a child is cause for a shifting within that can only be experienced, not explained.  Nothing can prepare a heart for what will happen as tiny arms wrap tight around your neck.  Never would you believe you could be so incredibly biased or easily impressed but, of course, that's before YOUR child enters the scene!  These tiny human beings possess the remarkable ability to turn upside down a life that was once full, organized and 'on track'.  They will cause you to redefine things like 'multitasking' and 'weekend fun' and they will give deeper, truer meaning to JOY and love and sacrifice.
Thankfully, parenting is a journey.  Life is a journey!  The fact that we only need deal with and be in the moment at hand, one day at a time, is truly a gift.  You're not required to have a potty-training-game-plan (if there is such a thing) when your sweet babe is a newborn.  You get to tackle 'why not to throw your peas on the floor' and 'it's never acceptable to dunk your stuffed animals in the toilet bowl' way before reaching the teenage years (hopefully)!  We learn as we go, making plenty of mistakes along the way.  But mess ups are nothing more than material for growth, if we can learn from them.  In fact, mistakes may be an essential part of the journey.

At times I become overwhelmed by my lack of knowledge (read here: my little boy is walking and talking and sometimes I still feel clueless!)  But Jesus whispered a sweet truth to me this morning through Exodus 23.  God is telling the Israelites about the land that they will one day inhabit.  He will go before them, making a way and clearing out all those standing in their way.  There's a BUT in verse 29, though.  'But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you.'  Verse 30 is my favorite, 'Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land.'  Little by little!!  Why do I forget that this is how God works in my life the majority of the time?  Here I am asking for the whole enchilada and He's saying, 'Daughter, trust me, you are not ready!'  Whether it be parenting skills or owning our own home or finding answers to life's hardest questions.  I think I want it NOW and grossly underestimate all that He has in store for me along the way!
These Israelites, fresh out of captivity and hankering for a place to call their own, knew that this sweet chunk of land had their name on it.  God already said He would go before them; they were ready to stake their claim!  But God knew they were far from 'ready', there were many lessons to be learned (40 years worth of lessons, apparently!)  God knew that if they rushed in and took the land, there wouldn't be enough of them to work the ground and it would quickly become bare.  Without the man power and knowledge to fight off the wild animals, they would also be sitting ducks!  Taking possession of the Promised Land all at once would be disastrous and only God had the foresight to realize it!

To all of you feeling antsy to accomplish and overcome and climb the ladder and progress from diapers, just chill out.  I am not advocating complacency or laziness, we always press on toward the goal [Philippians 3:14]  This is, however, a reminder (mostly for myself) that 'little by little' is for our own benefit.  Take it one day at a time, don't beat yourself up for not knowing it all!  You're in this season for a reason, enjoy it!  If you can't enjoy it, cause let's face it- there's nothing sweet about teething, then learn from it.  Embrace where you're at, God may be preparing you for what is to come, saving you from getting in over your heads or simply teaching you to see beauty in THIS moment; do not miss it!  Have grace for yourself and those around you, knowing that we are all journeying 'little by little' and chances are, sweet Mama-to-be, prenatal classes won't prepare you for hardly ANY of what this journey will bring :)