introspection.. whether I like it or not!

In this high-tech, supersonic, fast food world I find that there's not a lot of time for introspection; 'looking within oneself'.  However, when you find yourself gripping the toilet bowl for dear life, throwing up through the wee hours of the night and on into the next day... life slows down a LOT.  All of a sudden pondering life (and sipping Sprite) is your only option!  As unfortunate as it was to get sick while we had visitors, I was unbelievably thankful for the use of their hotel room, or rather their bathroom!  Jungle woman or not, no one likes to throw up in the front yard!  I had the very best of nurses, although at the time I was certainly not impressed with Derek's insistence on me sipping 'just three more spoonfuls' of chicken noodle.  While lounging on the couch bed, feeling as though I would spontaneously combust at any moment, I began to realize something.  I, of course, had repeatedly asked God to heal me, but He gave me the strength to keep throwing up.  The presence of my Father was so tangible that night and although it took me four days to finally recover, I know He allowed it for my good.

Sometimes I ask God for what I think is the best outcome, an immediate solution- no more throwing up.  But He answers with what's best in the long run- completely ridding my system of the junk in it and ultimately restoring my health!  Story of my life; thinking I've got it figured out and trying to fill God in on MY plan when He's got designs on a whole different level!  Plans I can't begin to comprehend.  He sees the big picture!  And THAT is why He is God and I am not!  "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Isaiah 55:8 NLT

This week flew by, probably because I was comatose for half of it, and Derek's parents have already returned home.  We loved having them here and are very hopeful that they'll experience withdrawals and start planning another trip!!  I hear that Hawaii has a way of getting under your skin; once you get a taste of this paradise (and a few apple bananas!) you won't be able to forget it anytime soon! 

[snorkeling adventures!]

In other news; we're experiencing a bit of reverse culture-shock, learning how to live indoors again!  Our weekend was slam packed and 'moving' basically consisted of filling the back of our truck with suitcases, food and the few things we've acquired in the past six months.  Today is our first day of settling in at the apartment or 'nesting' as my friend called it!  Our initial excitement about this opportunity was the use of a shower, toilet and washing machine.  Now that we're turning this into a home, however, I'm realizing how excited I am about hanging curtains, putting pictures on the walls and doing some re-painting!  Greenhouse walls aren't nearly as fun to decorate as real ones.  

God was, once again, several steps ahead of us with this move.  We thought we knew what 'a lot of rain' meant until this past week.  The rain has become a regular occurrence, sometimes multiple times a day!  And it has been intense; downpours of extreme proportions!  The rain flowed right through our greenhouse for the first time last week.  We were away when it happened and returned to evidence of a small river having ran it's course under the bed where all of our suitcases are stored.  Not good.  Thankfully, there was no harm done and the suitcases could be moved.  What could have turned into a major headache isn't even a concern anymore because our suitcases now reside in a dry closet!  

We're excited for a new week and adjusting to our new digs.  The blessing of this apartment is still so mind boggling and humbling.  We serve an amazing God and are honored to be a part of His church, this church, a body of incredible people allowing Him to live through them.  These people have affected our lives in unimaginable ways and we thank God for each and every one of them!  This week we had several cleaning jobs and a painting job and this coming week we'll be picking coffee cherries again.  Our request for work has definitely been fulfilled and we are so grateful!  We're almost completely caught up on the work in the fields, too- thanks to Derek's Dad and our brand new investment: a RIDING lawnmower!!!  We've talked, dreamed, searched and continually weed wacked for six months and now relief is finally a reality!  The first round of mowing is a bit tedious; we have to clear the rocks out of each row, but it's 100% worth it!  Not to mention the look on Derek's face as he cruises in the field :)  Talk about a week packed chock-full of amazing!  

For you, LORD, 

have delivered me from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the LORD

in the land of the living.

Psalm 116:8-9

[a lesson from the birds]

This week has been unlike any other week.  With harvest rapidly approaching, our learning curve is about to explode, once again.  We got a little taste of it when a couple from church asked if we could come work on their acre of coffee.  They're a bit lower in elevation than us and already have a significant number of cherries turning red.  So, we officially became coffee pickers and got a glimpse of our life for the next four months!  It's definitely different, and aside from sore shoulders after toting around the tub of cherries all day, I liked it!  We picked 75 pounds of cherry, and that is 'round one' for that farm.  In a few weeks there will be a whole new round to be picked.  I'm thankful that it's in sections; giving us time to keep up with other things on our list, like weed wacking and spraying!  AND time for having wild adventures with visiting family!!

[red cherries ready to be picked!]

Derek's parents flew in on Wednesday evening and we've had a fantastic week with them!!  We've explored Kona; showed them all our favorites spots and stops.  We trekked down South to visit the amazing Green Sands beach and then on to the Volcano!  It's fun playing tour guide, and some things are new to us, too.  During a morning of 'restaurant hopping' we discovered a great sushi place.  It actually has a conveyor belt that they're constantly loading with fresh rolls and you grab off whichever ones suit your fancy!!  We were like little kids in a candy shop :)  Derek and I have been in Hawaii for almost six months and don't always remember to smell the flowers or appreciate the beauty of the ocean.  Having visitors and hearing them exclaim about the smells and sights reminds us to appreciate this paradise we are living in!!

[at Green Sands!!]

The best adventures this week have definitely happened at the greenhouse.  We have had friends over the past few months and we give the tour of our 'home' and show off a few coffee trees.  But it's been different with Derek's parents.  They want to see everything.  They want to walk everywhere we've walked and picture the battle that we faced from day one.  They want to know every detail!  They were up for touring all six acres- multiple times!  And we've taught them almost all we know about being coffee farmers!  They've seen Derek in action, machete in hand, and decided this truly is the perfect place for our adventuring selves.  We've supplied them with as many avocados and bananas as they could possibly eat and we sat cross legged in the 'yard' smashing open macadamia nuts to our heart's content!  For the full effect, they even traded a night at their hotel for a night at our greenhouse and LOVED it!  It was basically a week of show-and-tell for us and realizing just how far we've come and how amazing this jungle life is!  Plus, they can go back home and reassure all of our Colorado family that we are not only surviving, but thriving!

[Aloha!!]

Speaking of greenhouses, there is an exciting new development in our housing situation!  We've been offered the apartment above our church building and the role of 'church care takers' for as long as it's available.  We are completely blown away by this and haven't really even had time to process it all!  A shower, a flushing toilet, a sink to wash dishes in... these things just became a very, real possibility and we are giddy about it!  We were never unhappy in the greenhouses and we know we'll even start missing the jungle lifestyle after awhile.  But this opportunity is a massive blessing and even more proof of God's providence.  The wonderful people at our church are continually going above and beyond for Derek and I.  We are humbled by their kindness and love.  It was so exciting to be able to introduce our church family to Derek's parents this last Sunday!

[shaved ice on a toasty day!]

A few mornings ago I was out on the porch of the hotel where we're staying with Derek's parents.  I'd been praying and just really seeking God's will for our lives.  There I was, surrendering once again and attempting to quiet myself and listen, when I saw the birds.  Just your average birds, but they were hopping around on the wires above the hotel, very animated and entertaining.  I kept trying to ignore them and get back to 'being still' but they were so stinkin' distracting!!  Finally I gave up and just watched them, hop and chirp and bump each other down the wire.  That's when I realized that God WAS speaking to me!  In Matthew 6 Jesus talks about worrying and how overrated it is!  He says 'Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not MUCH more valuable than they?  Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?'  We still have several months of harvesting before we can even begin to think about 'what's next'.  And even then, if we don't have our entire life mapped out, it's okay!  If the past few months of relying on God and watching His plan for us unfold hasn't been enough to convince me that He is in control, I don't know if I'll ever figure it out!  I have to let go!  Turns out, worrying is not even 'for the birds'!

two weeks..

Two weeks is not nearly enough time with family but an eternity without your husband.  Two weeks is enough time to lose your sun-tan but definitely not enough time to warm up to the ice cold side of the Pacific Ocean!  Two weeks is just a good start when you have three nephews to catch up with.  Two weeks is, surprisingly, enough time to start craving Spam musubi! Yikes!  And two weeks of giving people the 'short and sweet' of why/how/what you're doing with your life is plenty of time to realize that you are living an incredible adventure!!

California was amazing in so many ways!  Seeing a significant amount of my wonderful family was a blessing like nothing else!  Going running in the mornings with my Dad, a pedicure date with my Mom, swinging out over the river bed with my wild nephews and being part of a gorgeous wedding was just the tip of the iceberg!  Girl time complete with pink crowns, underwater cameras and fried rice was wonderfully refreshing for this jungle woman!!  But, not wanting to turn completely soft, I did spend a decent amount of time with the guys; ultimate frisbee, monkey bars, and slack lining, quite literally, left their mark on me :)  I was able to meet up with my sweet, Finnish friend that I bunked with during my time in Australia!!  And my last day on the mainland was spent at a water park; the only possible way to deal with 109 degree weather!

Aside from the obvious: standing in the hot shower for as long as I wanted and flushing the toilet over and over, there were a few other civilized 'luxuries' that I took full advantage of in Cali :)  Pouring cereal into my bowl and not having to do an ant inspection made honey nut cheerios that much more delicious!  Putting on clothes without having to first shake out any visiting spiders or bugs was an enormous relief!  And rolling out of bed and being barefoot, feeling the carpet squish between my toes, was absolutely glorious!  

As much as I LOVED every minute of my trip, there were a lot of things I missed!  Derek is, quite obviously, at the top of that list.  Traveling by myself was definitely an experience, but let's be real: layovers, airplane snacks and security confusion is entirely more entertaining with your best friend!  Plus, I can't possibly do justice to all that I did and saw, and it would've been that much better with him at my side.  BUT, we are reunited now and everything is right in the world :)  We got home from the airport and sat at the table just talking and drinking coffee (I was experiencing severe withdrawals!) until we realized it was pitch black and we could hardly see each other!!  Suffice it to say, I won't be taking vacations without my other half any time soon!  

The other things I missed may seem insignificant but have become an integral part of life as I know it.  Waking up to the sound of the jungle.  Rain...lots of it!  The 'Aloha' on the Island and our incredible church family!  'The pooch', Kai, and his crazy, puppy antics!  Swimming in the ocean.  Being challenged on a daily basis.  Mangos!  And the unbelievably, perfect temperature on this island.

People struggle with wrapping their minds around this life that we're living.  But it wasn't until I stepped away from it all for two weeks that I could begin to grasp how incredibly, bazar our situation is and how much I truly love it!  

Derek held down the fort while I was absent and had some wild, night diving adventures!  He said things were pretty quiet around here and is glad to have jungle life resume as normal!  Drinking coffee and digging into our Bibles has been especially sweet the last few mornings.  Weed wacking is... still weed wacking, BUT we did tear through one field in a record two hours!  And we're gearing up for harvest and eagerly anticipating a visit from Derek's parents this week!! 

I want to share one last thing that was a bit out of the norm, frustrating and, most definitely, orchestrated by God.  There's this ugly, rusted barrel residing at the edge of our neighbors property; it's sagging, jagged smile greet us every single day.  Derek asked said neighbor about this significant, chunk of metal and he confessed to hating the sight of it as well and told of his faulty attempt to get rid of it and only making it to the edge of the property.  Oh, and we have his blessing to haul it out!  Perfect.  That was a few weeks ago but on Thursday, out of the blue, Derek decides it's time to take action.  It takes us a few tries, but we do manage to roll it up some boards and into the back of the truck.  Phase one complete!  However, we are quickly informed, upon arrival at the dump, that we've come to the wrong place and our mission just got a bit more complicated.  Apparently, we have to go to the location all the way on the other side of town.  It's at least another twenty minutes of driving and they close at 6:00.. it's 5:37!  Not to be deterred after coming so far, we go for it!  The good news is:  we arrived with a minute to spare!  The bad news is, we were misled and the metal accepting part of the dump closes at 4:30!!  Mission.. not accomplished.  Gas.. sadly, wasted.  

On our way back, trying to think of a way to salvage the trip, we realize it's the right day AND time for worship at the YWAM base!!  It was a powerful evening and God definitely meant for us to be there!  The message was on waiting and the fact that most of the time it's not about the destination but the journey.  What you do/learn during the 'in-between times' can be so much more important than what you're actually waiting for!  I definitely needed to hear this and it's no coincidence that God lined everything up so we were able to.  

I absolutely LOVE this jungle life and the wild adventure we're on, but I am human and female at that!  I do think about the future and I plan, scheme and dream.  Nothing is wrong with that, but I can't lose sight of the 'now'!  I need to embrace everything that God is teaching me TODAY!  Yes, I would love a small glimpse of 'what's next' but God wants me to trust Him with my future!  We want to stay here through harvest, Lord willing, but life after that is a big unknown.. and that's okay!  God has taught us so much already and blown our minds in countless ways!!  He is continually guiding, providing and loving us!  Even the fact that we ended up at the base on Thursday night is proof of His hand at work in our lives.  The next morning Derek read Psalms 37:23; 'The LORD directs the steps of the godly.  He delights in every detail of their lives!'  

.relaying a few adventures.

I thought I might enjoy a little vacation from blogging, but I must admit that has certainly not been the case!  My mind is overflowing with tales to tell and adventures to relay.  If I don't make room for more memories my brain will simply explode!  So, although this is not Monday and I am not writing this from the jungle, this post is for my own sanity!
Last week FLEW by; a whirlwind of anniversary festivities, weed wacking, packing and flying over to 'the mainland'!!  Derek and I had a wonderful time celebrating our first two years of marriage.  We made oreo truffles, strolled around down town, had our first lilikoi martini and made a mad dash through the rain in order to indulge in sushi at the movie theater!!  The only thing we love more than reminiscing all our adventures is embarking on new ones, and an anniversary is, without a doubt, no exception!  Since moving to Hawaii we've been told several times to try 'Kava'; apparently it's all the rage!  A drink made from the Kava root, it's used as a celebratory drink, muscle relaxant, etc.  We were definitely skeptical but decided it was high time we experience this integral ingredient of the island lifestyle.  It certainly made an impression on us; unfortunately it wasn't a positive one!  We made a valid attempt at enjoying it, but our tongues slowly went from tingly to numb and did I mention it tastes like dirty water!?  Not okay!  The redeeming factor to this venture was our desperate need for clam chowder afterwords and the fact that we got it for FREE from our favorite restaurant!  Happy Anniversary :)

[ celebrating two years <3 ]

I'm sure you've heard enough weed wacking stories for a life time, so I'll spare you the details of my last few days on the island.  I realized I was in denial about leaving, not for lack of excitement, but because I didn't even want to think about being separated from Derek!!  He was absolutely amazing about all of it; making it even harder to say goodbye!  We've been apart for eight days now and although I feel like part of me is missing, morale is high and we know this is making us appreciate each other!  

There aren't enough happy words in the dictionary to describe this past week with my family!!  Long talks, a beach bonfire, hilarious laughter, black and white movies, bike rides and raspberry picking.  Getting to know three of my nephews all over again, a campout in their backyard, and hearing them tell me they 'wuv' me and wished I lived with them :)  Bachelorette party for my beautiful cousin, chocolate covered strawberries, pampering and wine tasting.  We've been able to fit so much into the days we have together and it's been absolutely wonderful!!  There is still a significant amount of excitement to come, including the WEDDING!!  I'm so thankful for this time with family, friends, flushing toilets and hot showers!  haha!!  But seriously.  It's awesome!

                                    

                                                             [ my first wine tasting! ]

[picking berries!!]

Although I may be apart from Derek, I'm never apart from my First Love!  He is my strength and my joy!!  'The eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love!' Psalms 33:18 

Thank you for allowing my brain a release from all it's been storing up since I last wrote.  I know it read more like a journal entry than a witty, inspiring post, but it opened up space for me to store all the other amazing things to come on my 'vacation from Hawaii'!  Plus, before you can say 'Kava makes your tongue numb', I'll be reunited with my husband, back to greenhouse life and full of jungle tales for your enjoyment!!