A cookie in the parking lot..

I was juggling my little man from hip to hip, tossing our broccoli, milk and a few Christmas gifts on to the Target conveyor belt when she got in line behind me. Two swim suit wearing girls hung on the sides begging for pizza, 'Puhhleaaaseee, Mom!' and the baby in the cart was wailing loud as snot ran down his face. She looked tired, distracted; like she hadn't slept for a full night in a very.long.time.
Owen was quick to point out the 'BABYYYY' and I felt bad that he had drawn attention to the chaos erupting behind us. It wasn't that I passed any judgement, I quickly learned that lesson at the beginning of motherhood- I have no idea what that Mama may be facing or what kind of night she just survived. But I didn't exactly go out of my way to encourage her, either.
As we loaded our purchases into the truck and Owen hung on Kai's neck (even a short separation is too long for those two..) the window of the mini-van next to us slowly rolled down. It was the same family. The little girl looked up with big eyes, 'Is that your dog?' 'What's his name?' 'Is he friendly?' To which I replied, 'Yes', 'Kai' and 'Very friendly!' She grinned from ear to ear as she held up the tupperware and asked if we'd like a cookie. They were homemade, chocolate with red and green m&m's; the fall-apart-in-your-mouth kind! And the Mom looked right at me and wished us a good day and a Merry Christmas. That's when I saw something different in her eyes. The exhaustion remained but I saw joy, too. I caught a glimpse of her heart and it was beautiful. 
We all know that 'it's not about the presents' this time of year but I forget to live that out. In all the hustle and bustle and baking and wrapping, I know I haven't been making time to give away any melt-in-your-mouth goodness to complete strangers. And maybe parts of that woman's life are messy, she probably is distracted and worn out, but she took time to roll down her window and she encouraged her babies to GIVE. They were spreading joy, learning to be a blessing, and that's the most 'Christmasy' thing I saw all day. Just a cookie in the parking lot, but it made me think twice about where my priorities were at.
Then this morning I read Ephesians 5 and Paul starts right off by saying 'Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. So if the 'reason for the season' truly is Jesus Christ and His gift to mankind was HIMSELF, then maybe our presence matters infinitely more than the presents. Jesus 'lived a life of love' and 'gave himself up for us' and now we are called to follow that example. Could it be that the sharing of our time, our energy, our fresh baked goods with people that can not repay us is the real secret to making the holidays memorable?
Derek and I have an incredible opportunity in front of us with our tiny son and the Christmases we will spend together. Of course the world will tell him it's about Santa, red-nosed reindeers and an endless list of toys, but we can instill in him a very different idea. If we use this time of year to bless the socks off others and make it exciting and fun, he will grow up wanting to continue that tradition! If we can actually show him, by our actions, that this time of year is not, as the commercials would have us believe, all about us... that truth will take root in his heart. If we can SLOW.DOWN from our mach speed pursuit of ensuring every detail is perfect and simply sit with him and talk about that baby in the manger, he will learn the deeper meaning of what a gift truly is!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

[Isaiah 9:6]

More than I could bear..

“I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep.”  Ann Voskamp

I borrowed an idea from my cousin, this putting words to my thanks for the thirty days of November. I've done it for a few years and, for the most part, found it a simple and easy task leading up to Turkey Day. But this time around has been different. This month has been a hard road to walk and there were days where I did not want to look for beauty amidst the mess. I did not want to be thankful.

No one said giving thanks would be easy, but in 1 Thessalonians Paul does say to do it in all circumstances; he says it truly is God's will for us, this lifestyle of thanksgiving. And so, I kept on with the thanking. 
I wish I could say that my motives were purely spiritual, but honestly, I just can't stand to back out of a challenge once I've begun. And so, I had to be deliberate about the thanking. There were days when the goodness was not incredibly obvious. I had to make a choice to call out that which was good amidst the pain and then thank the Giver. And it did something inside me. 
It's easy to give thanks for the obvious. It's when the obvious is lacking and you have to dig a bit deeper; that's where transformation begins. I found myself searching for good in the yuck and the heart break and the lump in my throat and what I found was surprising. I found grace where I least expected it. I found that there was still reason for a grateful heart in the darkest of circumstances. Why would God tell me to give thanks no matter what unless there would always be reason to do so? 

So here's where I'm going to say something crazy. (Don't say I didn't warn you!) See, I can't find anywhere in the Bible where it actually says 'God won't give us more than we can handle'. What I DO find in 1 Corinthians 10:13 is Paul's assurance about God, that 'he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will provide a way out so that you can endure it.' I think that's where we start to miss-quote. But the thing is, there are countless scriptures referring to believers being overwhelmed and obviously faced with more than they can handle! In 2 Corinthians 1:8 we find Paul describing a situation in which they were 'under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.'  
This would be incredibly depressing if not for what Paul says next (in verse 9), 'But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.' And I'm reminded, once again, that it's not about me and my strength but the power of the One who calls into being that which is not and yes, RAISES THE DEAD! And so I'm just going to say it and you don't have to keep reading, but I think we are faced with things we can't bear. I think God allows difficulties and sickness to touch our lives; circumstances that will be painful and difficult and heart breaking, SO THAT we can realize our need for a Strength not our own. 
And as for that misquoted verse, about the tempting? Well, yeah.. I was very tempted to wallow in my sorrow this week. We made multiple trips to the ER as my husband battled a poisonous and very infected (Brown Recluse suspected) bite. We mourned the loss of my Grandpa and I missed out on the gathering of my parents and all four brothers in one place, at one time. The Devil wanted me to give in to the overwhelming emotions I faced. And I did, several times. I'm not proud of that. But God did provide a way out, He does every time. And the vehicle for escape in this situation was THANKSGIVING. (See, it really is all connected! Bear with me here..)

Chesterton said "Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances that we know to be desperate." And we're not talking a 'fake', Pollyanna-kind-of-cheerful here. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is 'a time to weep' and 'a time to mourn' and I did those in plenty this past week. But to rely on the God who controls it all, to realize the GOOD that only He can bring out of any and every situation; that is where HOPE begins. That is the way out that He provides when we are tempted to give in to despair, to grumbling, to worry. And that's why the other part of Ecclesiastes 3:4 talks of laughing and dancing, because it's all connected. Giving thanks brings freedom. Giving thanks might not change circumstances but it sure changes hearts. And giving thanks has the power to draw our attention off of the situation and on to Jesus! 
So I'm discovering diamonds in the rough, chasing grace through the whirlwind of life. It might be scary to acknowledge that we'll face things we can not handle. But it is in the reaching and acknowledging of our own limitations that we can rely fully on the One who is truly in control. And choosing to be grateful, even on the dark days, is what thanksgiving is truly about.

'...the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is.' Ann Voskamp

Mud Drenched Goodness

'A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.'     Proverbs 17:22

Mud of the stickiest, gooiest and slimiest variety had taken over a rather large section of our back yard. Suddenly our house felt like a holding cell as I avoided outings that would potentially take us anywhere near...the mud.  And when we did have to traverse the dreaded section of lawn, I carried Owen up high in attempts of distracting him from the slime squishing beneath my feet.
I managed to keep this act up until a few days ago; it was an afternoon flung wide open with absolutely zero excuses to avoid the mess. I was tired of holding the squirmy, flailing, 'please-please-put-me-down' little boy. And so, I put him down!  His toes squished deep into the mess and he looked up at me with part question, part astonishment that this was, indeed, happening. Was this really allowed? And in response to that questioning gaze, I kicked off my flip flops and waded in right next to him.

Mud never hurt anyone. Sure, it's messy and stinky and manages to get in hair and on clothes and under fingernails. But it's just mud and it was time to let my boy revel in it himself. Time to enjoy the not-so-finer things of life :) And what a fabulously, disgusting frolic we had that afternoon! It was a 'little thing' that meant the world to one sweet, little man.
It mattered to Owen because I took the time to do something that served the singular purpose of fun; ridiculous, giggle-filled fun. And as we hosed off our toes..and legs.. okay, bodies! A thought came to me.. God does this for me all the time. Not specifically the mud pie making. But He consistently gives gifts which serve the singular purpose of delight and pleasure! He is constantly opening my eyes to beauty that exists simply to be beautiful and bring a smile to my lips.
            'For the Lord takes delight in his people..' Psalm 149:4

It brought me so much pleasure to laugh with Owen and watch him thoroughly enjoy our personal mud hole. How much more does Jesus take pleasure in seeing us enjoy Him, His creation, and 'little things' scattered throughout our day that are intended to fill us with joy and hope! Last Friday, as we enjoyed a crisp, clear night absolutely perfect for a bonfire and toasting marshmallows, I smiled up at the sky, knowing that the God of the universe was pleased!
We ventured out on paddle boards this Sunday and out there in the middle of the ocean we were suddenly surrounded by a huge pod of dolphins! Cherry on top of an incredible afternoon. They were spinning and diving; showing off just for us! And as we take time to delight in the moment and relish the beauty of God's creation; savoring that which exists simply to declare His glory, I know He is smiling!

'Ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?' Job 12:7-9

It's easy to get caught up in the business. Even as a stay-at-home Mama, life can get ridiculously 'full'. Despite my best intentions, it remains terribly difficult to take 'alone time' or get out on a date with my best friend! But those times of refreshment and refueling are incredibly important! This life is meant to be enjoyed, not simply survived. And on the home front: taking time to do messy projects, initiate a dance party or lay on my belly next to Owen watching a caterpillar inch across the grass: those 'little things' are what will truly make a life FULL and rich! Afternoons drenched in mud are the memories my son will hold on to.
So, maybe we all need to be reminded of this; enjoying God and letting Him enjoy US! Let's make time for the activities we're crazy about, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Remember [or find out!] what you are passionate about. Spend time with the people you love. Get outside today, breath in fresh air and simply enjoy the moments specifically designed to fill your cup. Smile up towards the sky and thank the One who sprinkles goodness, grace and the occasional muddy mess throughout the most hectic of days.

'The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.' Psalm 19:1

Long Haul

Turns out, I really enjoy chores that offer immediate, obvious results. Making the bed, for example, is fairly simple and the outcome is obvious improvement to the entire state of a bedroom.  Dishes, too! Derek would have me take better advantage of the dish washer but I honestly love plunging my hands into that soapy water and scrubbing away the grime. A drying rack full of sparkling plates and utensils is easily achieved and oh-so-rewarding; a legitimate form of therapy at the end of a tiresome day.
The undertakings in this life that truly matter, however, do not usually offer immediate results or boast of obvious, easy success. Darn it. When it comes to faith, marriage, parenting, leaving a legacy, making an impact, building lasting relationships, or anything at all that makes this life worth living- you better believe we're in it for the long haul. Choosing to invest time, energy and efforts into the lives of actual human beings around us is no small feat. If there was 'fine print' it would read 'feelings of exhaustion 99.9% guaranteed.' But these long haul investments are why we are on this planet.

As I battled both physical and emotional fatigue (and quite possibly a bad attitude) this last weekend, Jesus met me with two truths. First, 'let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.' Galatians 6:9  Keep on keeping on! 'Doing good' most definitely wears a girl out but I am told to persevere. The harvest will come and it will be epic, but this is not yet 'the proper time'. This is the time for sowing seed, working the fields. Whether it's in the life of my husband, tiny son, friends or the cashier I'm getting to know at Target, today is a day to invest. And I can be confident that, regardless of the when, how or whether I even get to witness it, there will be a harvest to reap someday.
Invest yourself even when you don't feel like it! For me, right now, it's getting down on the floor and playing games, being consistent, being present, folding five piles of laundry, and braving the Costco run. It might look different for you but the the encouragement is for us all; we must not give up.

This would be an overwhelming task if not for the second truth: 'being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.' Philippians 1:6 The One who made me, loves me, saved me, pursues me regardless of my attitude.. yeah, He's in it for the long haul and He will NEVER give up. He is my motivation and the source of strength so desperately needed to run this race. Jesus is working within me and that is why I can keep investing in the lives He's placed around me.
And, thankfully, those sweet and easily-achieved moments of success or delight are generously sprinkled throughout our journey, too. A Pupu platter (Hawaiian term for appetizers :), if you will! It does a heart good to enjoy those contented sighs after a home cooked meal has been devoured!  Big smiles after a water fight in the front yard, fresh squeezed orange juice and laughing with friends are a beautiful part of life. (Power washing our sidewalk did a world of good for my mental state this last weekend.)
Persevere, yes. But at the same time- if you're burnt out, find a way to refuel and be inspired! These truths go hand in hand. We're committed to the long haul; we invest, by the grace of God, in a harvest that will be reaped in the future. AND we take time to savor the beauty of today, remembering that we are all a work in progress and, thank goodness, the One working us all out is in it for the long haul!

'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith..' Hebrews 12:1-2 

Legacy of Love

So, I'm just going to say it: We're all searching for the meaning of life.  We want to know why we're here, if we matter, and whether anything we do today will make any difference at all.  I mean, seriously. We read books, peruse the blogs and seek out inspiration in its various forms. Sure, there are phases where we feel incredibly motivated and fulfilled but, for one reason or another, the search continues. This weekend I discovered an old truth in a new way.  I gleaned treasure from an unexpected source.

I've never been especially fond of funerals. (Not that anyone really is..) But we went to one this weekend; a memorial service.  A wonderful woman fought a fierce battle with cancer and is now dancing with Jesus.  I didn't ever have the privilege of meeting her; we are friends of the family. Derek did meet her, right after a bout with chemo but before you could see the vibrant life being drained from her body.
We went in support of the family but by the time we left I felt as though I was family. This woman's love for Jesus was so incredibly contagious; it spilled out of every single person that got up to share and it wrapped itself around all those who had gathered. Her faith is one that will continue to impact and inspire countless lives. And without ever having met this woman, she was able to remind me of truth that none of 'the books' can quite sum up. She knew that the only thing that outlives these bodies we inhabit is the love we give away. Love is what makes anything worth doing; makes every moment matter!

This woman left a legacy of love; love for Jesus and love for all those around her. She has four sons and they each stood up and shared about their Mom. I haven't been to a funeral since becoming a Mama and I had no idea how their words would affect me. These boys, now men with lives and babes of their own, talked of a woman who had always been for them.  The road she journeyed in this life was not an easy one, but she kept her eyes on the One who makes it worth walking and let His love flow through her.  They remembered her coming for them time and time again, sitting with them, praying over them; she never gave up on them and their lives are testimony of her love!
When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment He replied ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” [Matthew 22:37-40]

That sums it all up, then; love? And we're wondering if it can be that simple. I know you're facing hard decisions or overwhelming debt, family members are sick or maybe life feels exhausting and mundane.  I'm over here just rolling meatballs, singing the alphabet song, changing poopy diapers and wondering when I last did my crunches. What we do today may seem like nothing special but if it translates to LOVE to even one person, then it means everything.
Jesus said it all hangs on this and I believe Him! I saw it spelled out this weekend as people stepped up and said how this woman never gave up on them and that love changed their life. She journeyed alongside many people, sharing Jesus like a broken record and...yeah, in the end, it meant everything! Paul writes it to the Galatians, 'the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.'  [Galatians 5:6]
So, don't give up. Please don't underestimate what you're doing today. Live in love; let it spill over into everything you do, no matter how weary you may be. Love makes the difference; only Love can soften hearts and it is Love that will continue working long after you've left this world and gone to dance with Jesus.

'Child, YOU MATTER!'

Sitting indian-style there on the grass, I offered up my apology.  At first, it appeared as though my son's sole focus was shredding tiny flowers from the bush in our front yard.  But when my ramblings came to an end, he took a pause from the flower demolition job.  He picked a single, pink bud between miniature thumb and index finger and oh-so-carefully brought it to his Mama.  He looked into my eyes, smiled and then was off.  He brought me more flowers, filled my whole skirt with them.  We started tossing pink buds in the air, letting them rain down on us while we giggled.  Just like that I was forgiven; shortcomings forgotten.  Sweet, sweet grace.
The reason for my apology lie somewhere between dragging Owen all across this side of the island, being a check-list gestapo and also 'needing' to attend to one hundred and one things on my phone.  All he wanted was to go outside; my sweet boy.  I know that our life can't revolve around what he wants and errands must be run but, honestly, this day I had pushed too hard.  He brought me my shoes as I vacuumed, pulled on my leg as I layered the lasagna.  I kept saying 'Almost, love... almost.'  And when we actually made it outside, just minutes before the sun was about to set, I finally got it.  Finally realized that in the rush to get everything done it's so easy to brush past the few things that matter

I've found that the sweetest of times may transpire from the most basic of ingredients.  Whether I'm with Derek or Owen or a sweet friend, the beautiful moments are made up of simply sharing in life together.  It doesn't have to be gourmet or spic' and span or expertly planned.  Looking someone in the eye and being there whether they want to talk or not; loving, laughing and refusing to be distracted- these are the only ingredients necessary to let someone know they matter!  My boys certainly appreciate delicious food but they'll be perfectly content with bean and cheese burritos if it means I'm actually sitting with them, enjoying the moment.  There's a balance of course, which I learn and re-learn on a daily basis.  But it's possible that I tend to speak a love language of doing when the ones around me hear love best through my simply being.
It was first thing in the morning, I had just heated up Owen's milk and we were both sitting on the floor rubbing sleep from our eyes.  The coffee was taking exceptionally long to brew and I was wondering why, exactly, the day had begun so early.  But pretty soon I made funny eyes at him and some milk spilled out of his crooked grin. A tickle fight ensued and the day seemed a bit less daunting.  It reminded me of times spent on the floor with MY Dad, eating ice cream and discussing the mysteries of life or... nothing at all.  I don't remember why we sat on the kitchen floor, I just remember that we did; that he would get down there with me and nothing else mattered which conveyed the most beautiful truth to me: that I MATTERED!

So, life is crazy over here.  Owen is, quite literally, a ball of energy.  Yesterday, before I could even grasp what was happening, he climbed onto a chair, pulled himself up the back and SUMMERSAULTED over the top.  Thankfully, he landed straight in my lap, but I'm fairly certain that was coincidence!  His pediatrician predicts that if he stays on his current growth curve, he'll be six feet tall!  Oh, and he's been peeing in his little man toilet!  (But, if we're being honest here I should probably admit that he's also peed on his favorite teddy bear and all over the living room rug!  Am I allowed to duct tape the diaper onto this child?)  He learns new words on a daily basis and brings us more joy than we ever thought possible!!  But, yeah.. it's a crazy life!
A few nights ago, on the way home from a downtown adventure, I reached back to the little man's carseat and he grabbed onto my hand.  His little fingers wrapped tight around mine and he held fast until we got home; a good 10 minutes!  I told Derek my arm was cramped up in ways I didn't realize possible, but there was NO WAY I was retracting my hand.  Those moments are the cherry on top.  In his own way, my tiny son was letting me know that I matter.  It can be all crazy and messy and 'Owweeennnn, stop pulling the cat's tail!'  But in that still, sweet moment with his fingers grasping mine, I know that I matter to him more than he'll ever be able to put into words.  And when my husband asks me, at the end of a day, when it's quiet and I have room to answer honestly, 'How are you holding up?' I know it then too, that he truly sees me and that I matter.
Isn't this what is so astonishing about God's grace and what He did for us?!  We matter to the King of kings! When we were at our worst He sent His Son to take our place. And in spite of having absolutely nothing to offer, He chooses US!  He gets down on our level, meets us where we're at, whispers 'Child, YOU MATTER!' He redeems us! Romans 5:8 'But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.'  And when we first realize this truth it's breathtaking; it drops us to our knees.  But as the years go by, the intensity can fade and the routine can take over and perhaps it's time to stop rushing and remember the price that was paid.  Maybe the only One that matters is calling, waiting, longing to spend time with us.  Nothing fancy, just us and Him and the truth about where we're at- but it could be the most beautiful part of our day!  It could make all the difference.
I don't know where you're at today.  Maybe you desperately need to hear the words, 'Child, YOU MATTER!' Perhaps you are lost, forgotten, broken or just distracted; it makes no difference. Jesus sees you and He will meet you where you're at because you mean EVERYTHING to Him!  Or maybe you need to rearrange some priorities; be deliberate about letting people in your life know that THEY matter to you!  More than the lists, more than keeping up appearances, more than social media or whatever your addiction may be; the people in your life (in MY LIFE!) matter more and today is the day to show them.
So, let's get after it..

Oh yes, you can!

Our son has a thick head of hair on him.  So thick and long, in fact, that it was irritating his eyes and causing his head to sweat profusely on hot afternoons.  Obviously it was hair cut time, but I was in denial.  I knew that cutting off the locks would only expedite his growing into a toddler.  Beyond that excuse, however, was an enormous lack of confidence on my part.  See, I don't know how to cut hair!  Sure, I trim Derek's every few months but my 'training' really just consists of watching both of our mothers in action.
You can imagine my distress upon hearing Derek casually announce over breakfast, 'Owen, your Mom is giving you a hair cut today!'  I balked.  My husband wasn't phased.  'I can't!' was my earnest plea. His answer, 'Oh yes, you can!'  And, obviously, I did.  That was a few weeks ago and, although I did tackle it in two phases, I must admit to being pretty pleased with the end product.  (And Owen is very appreciative!)  It wasn't the challenge in my husband's eye that made me step up to the plate, however.  It was his confidence in me!  He saw what I could not.

My husband has a knack for seeing beyond the obvious.  I've given many of his projects the 'lost cause' label only to be proved very wrong by the final product.  He can transform overgrown jungle into landscaped bliss.  He revived an ancient, rusty wood chipper into a stump eating machine!  He sees possibility even though it may require time, money, failed attempts, blood, sweat and or tears.  Once my husband catches a glimpse of the potential and deems the cause a worthy one, look out, he is the definition of a 'man on a mission'.
I love being married to Derek.  Of course I give him grief about all his different undertakings, but the truth is: he's ingenious and incredibly talented.  My husband has encouraged me in ways he'll never even realize; pushing me to live out my full potential, challenging me to pursue my gifts and passions, inspiring me to try... well, anything!  Apparently, if it can be Googled- it can be mastered.  And his vote of confidence is not only transforming forgotten trees and broken down tractors, but a wife that desperately needs to hear, 'Oh yes, you can!'

Just another day at the office...

Derek encourages me to jump off of cliffs (and out of airplanes!), to play more piano, bake more pies and apply for jobs I feel extremely under qualified for.  Because of him I've learned to dive deeper, I've realized I DO know how to cut hair and if he has his way, I'll write a book someday.  He knows my heart and he can call out the best in me even when I've had the worst of days.  How much more so, does Jesus see potential in me?  In all of us.  Yes, my best friend knows my heart, but Jesus MADE that heart.  

When I feel burnt out, overwhelmed or discouraged, God reminds me that I am more than a conqueror through Him who loved me! [Romans 8:37]  When I want to give up He reminds me that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me! [Philippians 4:13]  When I feel unmotivated He says that I am 'His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand," [Ephesians 2:10]  Christ Jesus sees massive potential IN ME.  He's chosen me for a purpose and despite my many faults, when He looks at me there is confidence in his eyes, too!  

I may still feel incredibly under qualified for the tasks at hand; apart from watching my Mama do it, I have no 'training' in discipling a mini man, loving my husband well or making our home a place that inspires.  But the God that calls into being things that were not can certainly see what I can't.  He says He's given me all I need and as I dig my heels in once again, scrambling for excuses, my Papa simply smiles and says, 'Oh yes, you can!' 

When NOT to take pictures..

He wrapped both arms AND legs around my middle, squeezed hard and then leaned back to look at my face.  He touched my nose with his tiny, little index finger and simply said 'Mama!'  What a way to start the day.  How could I possibly turn him down, then, when he requested an early morning chicken hunt?  With toothbrush (his current weapon of choice) in hand and sleep barely rubbed out of the eyes, Owen continued 'balk, balk, balk'ing until we ventured out into a brand new morning.  We didn't find any balkers on that particular outing, but we chattered away and then we were silent and we pointed out each puffy cloud all tinged with pink.  Another moment for my internal scrapbook.
Pages are filling up fast in my mind.  Derek scoops up our little man and wrestles him into tickling position, their laughter bubbling over while I brew the coffee.  I can't take a picture of that and, honestly, in my scrambling to capture the beauty of those flailing limbs and giggling sounds I'll miss the moment.  I'm learning to simply enjoy it.
Now, some moments simply BEG to be photographed and there's plenty of opportunity for that; more than enough snap shots to be framed.  But I'm learning to be content with mental pictures, too.  I'm learning when not to take pictures; when not to scramble and click and obsess over the perfect angle.  There is a time to snap away, please don't get me wrong.  But there are most definitely occasions where grabbing for a camera or phone will, unintentionally, convey to my boys that 'capturing the moment' is somehow more important than actually being in it with them.
Things got quiet this morning as I scrubbed oatmeal from the bottom of a pan and quiet means I need to investigate...fast!  There on the porch sat my son and our dog.. little arm flung over furry neck, boy and his best friend gazing at the potential of this day.  I tried to sneak a picture but the pooch heard me and jumped up, Owen took a digger and why couldn't I just stand there and take it in?!
I should know already.  It's like the sunsets here.  I'm always trying to 'capture' them in pictures, but it's an impossible task.  There is no way that all the glory, majesty and streaking colors; the dramatic accents and ginormous, sinking ball of fire melting into glassy sea could be contained within a single click of my iPhone.  I must learn to simply soak it in.
Last weekend I sat on the grass next to my husband, mesmerized by the dancing of bonfire flames.  Friends laughed and marshmallows were roasted and there was no need for anything but being right there.  It was wonderful.
I didn't mean to write this post.  My intention was to scribe something sweet about the beauty of moments.  But then all of this spilled out and now I keep thinking of Psalm 46:10  'He says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth,"  And another version phrases it 'Cease striving..'  And maybe that's what it all bubbles down to; not whether it's okay to take pictures of beautiful moments, but whether or not I'm seeing God in those moments?  Do I know Him well enough that I recognize His signature everywhere I look?  Am I intimately familiar with my Heavenly Father, to the point where giving thanks to Him [in all things! 1 Thessalonians 5:18] feels as natural and necessary as breathing?  If not, the answer is simple- 'Be still and know that I am God'  It's in the stillness that we will come to know Him, it's when strivings cease that we can truly live.
The definition for 'striving' is to 'make great efforts to achieve or obtain something, to struggle or fight vigorously.'  As this truth is reavealed this morning, and you're reading it as fast as I'm realizing it, I see that this is about struggling to capture something that I have been freely given.  I'll still be taking plenty of pictures, no doubt about that, but I'll be making time to NOT take pictures, too!  As the moments unfold in front of me today I want to be deliberate about recognizing them, identifying the Giver and then giving thanks for it all.  A picture's worth a thousand words but maybe being still and being in the moment could be worth infinitely more. 

Little Man Resume

Fourteen months old, 23 pounds heavy and busy as the day is long.  Hobbies include dog wrestling, coffee table scaling and jungle exploration in search of wild chickens!  Never too early to start working on the ol' resume, right?!  Oh, I've gotten ahead of myself... this is Owen, filling in for Mom because sometimes life just leaves her speechless.  Plus, I wanted to be the one to regale you with details of my latest adventures... like rock climbing and surfing lessons!  Have I mentioned that I love life?

My parents sorely underestimated my upper body strength until we checked out a super cool park in town.  Now they have a little more respect for my climbing abilities!  I also had my first surf session with Dad.  Usually Mom and I play in the water while he catches the waves, so this was pretty epic!  I see a lot more of these activities in my future... I mean, why not make the most of every minute we're alive!?
Psalm 16:11 'You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.'

Oh, add to the work experience section: professional lawn mower and up-and-coming mechanic.  How can I not be with a Dad like mine?  We put an add in the paper for his tree service (he says someday it can be Pearl & Sons Tree Service!) and that's brought in quite a few new jobs!  So many, in fact, that we had to invest in a diesel truck to pull around the wood chipper!  All these loud, manly toys are absolutely my favorite and I hang out with/on them every chance I get.

 Mom and I are thankful for such a hard working Dad that allows us to have adventures all day long!!  We like to play games, go exploring, read books, eat fruit and have dance parties.  Sometimes I think she abuses the 'adventure' label, though- like when it comes to sweeping and scrubbing the entire house.  She came up with this idea that if I'm old enough to walk, I'm old enough to have chores!  So, I'm in charge of feeding the dog and cats, carrying my plate to the sink, watering plants and a few other 'adventures' that I'm fairly certain used to be her job.  Mothers these days...   

                                       

At least she feeds me spaghetti for my efforts.  Lots of it!! 

When Dad's working on the weekends we take him lunch and say 'TIMBER' as the trees come down.  When he isn't working....we got to check out the carnival!!  Talk about over-stimulated in the best possible way!  Lights, sounds and smells in every direction.  Screaming kids and cotton candy, helicopter rides and big, scary clown faces.  It was completely awesome and no, I did not go into a sugar coma afterwords.  But speaking of favorite foods, I've acquired a taste for salsa on my eggs, thanks to Dad.  I also like spinach in my smoothies but Dad doesn't get the credit for that one.

As far as references for my resume, there's quite a few awesome people at my church that will vouch for me.  I even got to spend time with an 'Auntie' and 'Uncle' while Dad and Mom had a belated anniversary date.  They've been married for four whole years and I guess a little time on their own wasn't too much to ask..  Plus, look how nice they clean up!

Well, that's about enough words for now.  No matter how pretty a life can look on paper, what really matters is what fills your days; making an adventure out of the average and taking every opportunity to love, laugh, thank Jesus... and eat cotton candy!!  

Till next time,

Owen J.

'little by little'

Today as I power washed Owen's high chair I thought to myself,  'Yet another thing they forgot to mention in prenatal classes!'  There's quite a bit that, I'm discovering, can take you by surprise in the parenting journey.  I've met three first-time, expectant mama's in the last few weeks and I've found myself, shockingly enough, at a loss for words when I try to describe the past 14 months with our little man!  Sure, I could tell them about the thousands of diapers they will change... I think we're nearing the 3,000 mark!  I could mention the sleepless nights, because there will be those in plenty and they will reveal strengths and weaknesses you've never known existed.  But that's not really what has me scrambling for words...

Raising a child is cause for a shifting within that can only be experienced, not explained.  Nothing can prepare a heart for what will happen as tiny arms wrap tight around your neck.  Never would you believe you could be so incredibly biased or easily impressed but, of course, that's before YOUR child enters the scene!  These tiny human beings possess the remarkable ability to turn upside down a life that was once full, organized and 'on track'.  They will cause you to redefine things like 'multitasking' and 'weekend fun' and they will give deeper, truer meaning to JOY and love and sacrifice.
Thankfully, parenting is a journey.  Life is a journey!  The fact that we only need deal with and be in the moment at hand, one day at a time, is truly a gift.  You're not required to have a potty-training-game-plan (if there is such a thing) when your sweet babe is a newborn.  You get to tackle 'why not to throw your peas on the floor' and 'it's never acceptable to dunk your stuffed animals in the toilet bowl' way before reaching the teenage years (hopefully)!  We learn as we go, making plenty of mistakes along the way.  But mess ups are nothing more than material for growth, if we can learn from them.  In fact, mistakes may be an essential part of the journey.

At times I become overwhelmed by my lack of knowledge (read here: my little boy is walking and talking and sometimes I still feel clueless!)  But Jesus whispered a sweet truth to me this morning through Exodus 23.  God is telling the Israelites about the land that they will one day inhabit.  He will go before them, making a way and clearing out all those standing in their way.  There's a BUT in verse 29, though.  'But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you.'  Verse 30 is my favorite, 'Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land.'  Little by little!!  Why do I forget that this is how God works in my life the majority of the time?  Here I am asking for the whole enchilada and He's saying, 'Daughter, trust me, you are not ready!'  Whether it be parenting skills or owning our own home or finding answers to life's hardest questions.  I think I want it NOW and grossly underestimate all that He has in store for me along the way!
These Israelites, fresh out of captivity and hankering for a place to call their own, knew that this sweet chunk of land had their name on it.  God already said He would go before them; they were ready to stake their claim!  But God knew they were far from 'ready', there were many lessons to be learned (40 years worth of lessons, apparently!)  God knew that if they rushed in and took the land, there wouldn't be enough of them to work the ground and it would quickly become bare.  Without the man power and knowledge to fight off the wild animals, they would also be sitting ducks!  Taking possession of the Promised Land all at once would be disastrous and only God had the foresight to realize it!

To all of you feeling antsy to accomplish and overcome and climb the ladder and progress from diapers, just chill out.  I am not advocating complacency or laziness, we always press on toward the goal [Philippians 3:14]  This is, however, a reminder (mostly for myself) that 'little by little' is for our own benefit.  Take it one day at a time, don't beat yourself up for not knowing it all!  You're in this season for a reason, enjoy it!  If you can't enjoy it, cause let's face it- there's nothing sweet about teething, then learn from it.  Embrace where you're at, God may be preparing you for what is to come, saving you from getting in over your heads or simply teaching you to see beauty in THIS moment; do not miss it!  Have grace for yourself and those around you, knowing that we are all journeying 'little by little' and chances are, sweet Mama-to-be, prenatal classes won't prepare you for hardly ANY of what this journey will bring :)

Messy Life, Best Life

A trail of peanut butter and jelly handprints run the length of the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator door.  I do my best to see them as sweet reminders of the boy growing up right in front of me.  Granted, my thoughts don't always start out that positive and you better believe I'm already teaching the little man how to scrub these floors.  But I'm told I'll miss these 'messes' in the future and I definitely believe that.
Owen is turning into a toddler at a speed I can not comprehend.  I literally feel like I was just holding him as a newborn baby and now it's all I can do to catch him!  He worked on walking for a few days but quickly progressed to the speed Derek's mother always warned me about, 'the trot'!  This boy does not have a 'slow' setting.

Owen's vocabulary now includes correct animal noises for cows, dogs, cats, elephants, lions, chickens, horses and fish!  We were in the grocery store and he kept 'moooo'ing even after I repeatedly explained that, no, there were no cows in that aisle.  He insisted, however, and took the 'moo'ing up an octave so I investigated and, sure enough, found his cow right there on the yogurt container!  'Chiiiiz' means cheese and he certainly eats his fill of it and knows exactly where we keep it.  Other favorite words include 'Dada', 'ball', 'nana' and 'trkktr' (translation: tractor)  This little man amazes us on a regular basis.  Not to mention, he's also hilarious!  The shenanigans that go on between Owen and his father at the dinner table have been cause for milk snorted right out the nose!  MY nose, that is.
I love my life with these boys.

I also do a lot of cleaning in my life with these boys.  It's basically an ongoing, 24/7, never-quite-finished event.  Toys and books and water spills.  Every stuffed animal lovingly strewn around the bedroom and all my keys and pens hidden underneath couch cushions.  Mud tracked through the living room and dirty shirts that didn't quite land in the laundry basket.  And, I'll admit to the occasional grumbling as I scrub unidentified sticky objects off the couch or reach deep into the scariness of dirty socks left wrong-side-out for the zillionth time.
But at the end of the day, I realize how beautiful all those messes are; I realize, sometimes after a bubble bath and glass of wine, how much I love what I do.  We are all called to serve but the definition is unique to each of us and can vary greatly throughout the seasons of life.  This season of my life is sticky and a bit messy but it's absolutely the best!  As I pour out, give, serve- every time I wipe Owen's grimy face, every time I hug Derek's sweaty neck, I'm making a difference.  Do not underestimate the affects of your service, whatever that may be, or the influence of your faithfulness in the small things.  When you give, you are making a difference.

John 13:15 'If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.  For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.' 

Maybe the biggest messes are simply, wonderfully, an opportunity for bigger grace!  
Isn't that what Jesus shows us repeatedly throughout history?  God uses the rejects, the screw-ups and the outcasts to lead His people and bring His message.  Too small, too loud and the motliest of crews are exactly who the King of kings works through to win the battles!  He bends His knees, picks up the crusty, calloused feet of the disciples and He GIVES, He washes.  He's commissioning them (and us!) to go out and do what He does, to love people in their mess and journey with them!  Maybe it's not about having a perfect, shiny, polished life (can I get an 'Amen!') but rather, allowing Jesus to work through the messes that are inevitable.  He uses those that are willing to admit their messiness because then His grace is so incredibly OBVIOUS!  Let Him transform the messes and then follow that example wherever you go!
When I face spills and laundry and words that didn't quite come out right, I want to see them as opportunities to give!  Give grace.  Wash the feet; that's what will transform.  Give time, give love, give your full attention.  There might still be a mess to clean up, green tea dripping down my shirt or half a bottle of Murphy's Oil spilled right there in the middle of Target, but what if I could see it all with new perspective?
Messes make me get down on Owen's level, messes make me realize how hard my husband works.  Messes are opportunities for me to follow the incredible example of Jesus; who deals with my messes every day.  Wash the feet, extend the grace; serve wherever you are, no matter how insignificant the tasks may feel.  Just do it, Bethel.  'Just' give, 'just' love, 'just' breathe before you respond to the disaster in front of you, and maybe- just maybe- we can begin to realize the beautiful potential these messes hold.

Pig Pen Realizations

I doubt that it takes the Father by surprise when the youngest comes forward with brazen request.  'I'm ready, Dad,' he puffs up his chest, 'I want my share of the inheritance; I'm off to see the world.'  Of course, the Father knows the son is far from ready.  But rather than fight over it, brandishing authority and harsh sounding words, He simply, graciously.. agrees.  The money is withdrawn or removed from a safe or unearthed.. whatever the case may be, and handed over to a child who thinks he's a man, thinks he's ready, thinks he has what it takes.  And without a glance over his shoulder, adventurous son trots down the road, flags a cab (or a donkey..) and the journey begins.
The start of his new life is grand, extravagant; full of, I'm sure, exactly what the young son had in mind.  But the money dwindles, the lifestyle catches up and he wakes up one morning to the stark reality of his situation.  He has nothing left.  He can't afford the room for another wild night, can't even afford breakfast for his growling belly.  And if that's the case, well, the company he's been keeping can't afford to stick around either.  Party's over and he's all out of luck.

In his search for a job, the incompetence is revealed.  'So, you have no experience?  What about references?' says shop keeper after restaurant owner.  They're not impressed and, honestly, the young son doesn't blame them.  He's given up on himself when he stumbles across the pig farmer.  'No education necessary, just keep the animals fed.  And don't get any ideas about the scraps.. I need my hogs plump.'
This arrangement could only last so long.  The young son was barely scraping by and he started to think about the servants in the house where he grew up.  Even the lowest of the low in his Father's home had more than enough to eat.  And at last, the young son came to his senses.
The walk home was the longest of his life but the battle within him had come to an end, all he felt now was remorse and surrender.  He would mop kitchen floors, take out the trash; no task was too low as long as he could come home.  The speech was rehearsed time and time again until the words flowed effortlessly, 'Father, I am sorry.  I've sinned against heaven and against you!  I'm not worthy to be called your son but, please, make me like one of your hired servants.'

Little did the dejected, dirty son realize that the Father saw him as soon as he rounded the corner.  He had been waiting for his return and He was thrilled to see his son!  The Father tore out of the house and, robes flapping in the wind, raced down the driveway.  Imagine the surprise on the young son's face as he realized Who was creating the cloud of dust headed right towards him!  Before he had time to process or react, the arms of his Father were flung around him and all in a rush he knew it to be true, he had come home.
Tears burned hot in the young son's eyes, and his perfect words were jumbled.  The Father didn't seem to notice and didn't acknowledge the request for humble work.  He was too busy kissing his son, flinging his robe around him and ordering the servants to prepare a grand party!  'My son has come home and it's time to celebrate!  He was dead and is alive again.  He was lost and is found!'  The Father's arm never left the young son's shoulders and as the boy summoned enough courage to look his Dad in the eyes, he saw nothing but love and it brought him to his knees.  No judgment, no bitterness and not a single ounce of 'I told you so'; although all of the above would have been duly justified.

The story continues in Luke 15 but this is where I'm stuck right now.  The lump grows in my own throat as I identify with this young son.  It matters not the size of the pig pen or the type of mud I wallowed in, the truth is that I was there.  We've all been there.  Sometimes we revisit that stinking hog pen on a daily basis!  Convinced of our own sufficiency, off to prove a thing or two, maybe we're just plain stubborn.  It might look grand for a time but in the end we find ourselves wading through pig scraps and you know what else.  And that's when we feel the pull on our hearts, the longing for true love and the whisper of Hope that this world can not offer.
Our Father lets us go our own way, allowing us to squander the riches He gives.  He knows that we have to figure it out on our own.  As much as He would love to save us the heartache, a true Father doesn't want us in His house out of obligation but because we choose to be there and realize the gift that it is to be His child.  He freely lets us go and then He waits, longing for the day that we will come to our senses.
When I arrive at the end of myself I can finally realize my desperate need for the One who has it all together.  But sometimes it takes awhile to become aware of the fact that I'm wallowing in a pig pen when I could have access to the castle!  The walk home will seem long but He will meet us there!  And I can guarantee, His response is always abundantly more than we deserve.  His response is love; the kind that bring us to our knees.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."  Luke 15:19

Redefining 'worse case scenario'

It wasn't until the flight attendant came over the plane's loudspeaker announcing that 'We will be getting into LAX about 30 minutes late.'  And 'Could everyone please remain seated.'  Then I knew it was all over but the crying.  Literally, many tears would be shed on this journey....
Everyone asked if I was nervous to fly back to Hawaii with a one year old and without Derek.  I would casually shrug it off, saying that I had prepared myself for worse-case scenario and anything other than that would be a piece of cake.  Well, my reference point for 'worse-case scenario' was the LAST time we flew back to Hawaii; Owen was teething, burning up with fever and we spent the majority of those five and a half hours walking the aisle and bonding with the flight attendants in the back.  We survived and I figured it couldn't possibly be worse..... But, alas, I was sorely mistaken.
Backing up, the reason I was flying without the man who always steers me in the right direction is because he graciously let me extend my vacation to see more family and friends.  My Grandma celebrated her 90th birthday and a whole pack of family members trekked to Colorado for the occasion; I couldn't possibly come so close and then miss an event like that!  Someone has to bring home the bacon, however, so Owen and I partied for an extra 5 days while Derek returned to work.  [Have I mentioned how I like that man?!]

 Pikes Peak with some of my favorites!!

These boys have an incredible GREAT Grandma <3

Okay, back to the journey that I was not prepared for.
The day started out on a high note.  Owen and I had an airport party with my long-lost-best friend and partner in crime.  I couldn't have asked for a better send off!  We made it to the plane with time to spare and Owen quickly set to work, charming the ladies behind the desk... okay, any lady within crab walking distance!  We boarded the plane and did the meet and greet with a sweet college student lucky enough to sit next to us.  Then they informed us that the closet door was jammed and we absolutely could not take off until the door was fully closed or fully opened.  Not a big deal unless it takes 30 minutes to repair.  And even those 30 minutes would not have mattered if my layover in LA had been any longer than 45 minutes!

Now, Owen and I don't mess around in that stroller, and we may have set a new record this particular day.  But the man unloading said stroller from the plane was not out to set any records.  Neither was the man driving the bus to the OTHER TERMINAL of LAX where our plane was awaiting us.  Needless to say, our sprinting didn't make a difference; the Kona bound flight was long gone by the time we came panting up to the gate.  'Not to fear', they informed me, 'you're on the next flight to Honolulu, we've got you a hotel there and you can fly to Kona tomorrow.'  Not exactly what I had in mind but the adventurer in me was, honestly, pretty stoked about a chance to see a tiny bit of another island.

The little man was a trooper, but he definitely expressed some negative opinions when we ran to yet another gate, boarded another flight and attempted to 'settle in' for the 5 1/2 hour flight.  I was praying.. a lot.  And so were many many other people, I'm convinced, because after only 45 minutes of juggling and bouncing and tears and fervently apologizing to the woman next to us for a drink spilled all down her legs... the sweet little man finally fell asleep.  Grace, my friends, abundant grace right there.  I don't think I've ever been so thankful for closed eyes and still body.  He didn't sleep the whole way, but he was certainly more agreeable when he woke up.  

Now, this isn't all that bad, you're saying to yourself.  But just wait... here's the best part.  We arrived in Honolulu at 10pm where we caught a taxi and headed to Waikiki because all the airport hotels were full.  Again, not ideal, but I was secretly thrilled to go downtown.  The hotel was incredible and, I should've realized, too good to be true.  They looked at my airport issued voucher and quickly said 'Yeah, that's not going to work..'  Apparently, the airlines forgot to list the payment information and there was no way for the hotel to charge for the room.  A.k.a No way I was getting a key or chance to lay down on a bed.  Owen turned on his charm and when that didn't work, he lost it.  I may have also shed a few tears at this point as we turned around and went back out to the street to catch yet another taxi!  

I won't bore you with the details of those six hours logged in the Honolulu airport.  Let's just say, it wasn't pretty.  There was a significant amount of homeless people biding their time and conversing with stuffed animals.  There was also a significant lack of open coffee brewing establishments!  Owen slept off and on, if I was pushing the stroller or holding him.   I'd never fallen asleep mid-stride until this night.

Morning finally came, just in time for them to point me towards a different terminal and 'oh, you might not make it.. you should probably run!' were not the words I wanted to hear!  We did make it, but not before setting off the alarms in security.  Turns out hand sanitizer, when applied liberally throughout the entire night, can show up as bomb fragments on their hand swab.  And yes, patting down my exhausted body was absolutely necessary and while we're at it, let's x-ray the shoes because there's just no telling what a terrorist could fit in a pair TOMS.  Oh and they may have lost my bag at some point in the chaos.  We've redefined 'worse case scenario' around here... 

[one of my amazing bonus sisters!!]

Now, obviously, we survived the ordeal and made it home sweet home.  Seeing Derek and collapsing in bed was infinitely more wonderful because of our perilous journey.  Instead of scarring me for life, this traveling experience was actually incredibly empowering (after the fact, of course).  I'm ready to fly anywhere; just give me another week or so to recover!  But the true beauty of this trip wasn't even realized until a few days later when I was reading to Owen about Lazarus.  

What I've never really grasped was why Jesus didn't go straight to Bethany when he heard that his friend was sick.  He could have also healed him from afar, he'd done that before.  But neither of those solutions takes place; Lazarus dies.  By the time Jesus shows up, his friend has been buried for four days!  And my heart wants to know why??  Why did he need to die, just to be brought back to life?  Doesn't that seem like an unnecessary step?  Why did Mary and Martha have to go through all that agony and sorrow, mourning the loss of their beloved brother!  Talk about a worse case scenario!  But Owen's children's Bible speaks the answer simple and true, it's so that God could be glorified.  Isn't that always the answer?

We don't have to understand why awful things happen, and sometimes we never will!  But God does not allow anything to touch us that He can't ultimately use for our good and His glory.  In a world running rampant with death and evil and broken hearts, this feels incomprehensible.  But that doesn't mean it's not the truth.  I realize that my 'horror story' of an airport experience is so trivial compared to the painful journey that so many are walking.  I'm simply saying that no matter our path and no matter how unfair, unneccessary or incredibly painful the circumstances may seem... God IS at work and He can always bring good from the mess.  Our worse case scenario may just be what has to happen before He can bring us back to life!

[photo cred: Elizabeth J]

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me.  I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”  When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”  John 11:41-43