Once upon a time we packed up our two little men and their faithful pup and moved to a city; transitioning from 13 acres on a branch of the Potomac River to a third floor apartment next to the campus of UNCW. And, believe it or not, it's here in the rush of people and traffic, surrounded by constant activity and 24 hour conveniences, that I begin to unearth another layer of depth in my understanding of 'rest'. (I did warn you about the possibility of 'part two' in my last
post about rest!)
The past year and a half have been very intense for our family. My superhero of a husband has managed to consistently work 90-100 hours per week with very little time off. We began this season with some time in our camper as work moved us from one hurricane devastated area to the next in the fall of 2017. Then, in search of daily work (not just response to catastrophes) we've moved three times since the start of 2018. One of those relocations included a 25hr trek across the country in separate vehicles.
It's been a
grand adventure, consistent with the rest of our journey which, ironically, is anything but consistent. But we are tired. And as thankful as we are for the work, we knew the pace was not sustainable. This prompted our latest move to reposition our crew closer to the coast and we believe God opened a door, one that had previously been shut, in order to enable this. In search of a different pace of life, we've settled into an apartment for the summer and taken a significant decrease in work load. This is a learning curve with its own unique twist; rest is easier said than done.
After 18 months of going non-stop, it feels foreign (almost, wrong?) to slow our bodies down. Derek put 70,000 miles on his truck last year and the boys and I ate an average of 17 meals a week without him. While this pace was necessary in that season, we knew it was certainly not something we wanted to continue doing long-term. And yet, slowing down after that is like slowing down a freight train (which the boys and I just learned takes a MILE or more, with the emergency brake fully engaged, to come to a complete stop). As much as we know we need the break, it's tough for us to wrap our minds around being still, taking time to reflect, or simply playing frisbee at the beach on a random afternoon when there's nothing else we need to rush off to accomplish.
A God who is beyond great, must, by definition, work in ways that are beyond our understanding.
-Ann Voskamp
In my first
post about rest I referenced the book 'Mercy Like Morning' by Jane Johnson. She shares about her digging into another reference of the word 'rest' that I didn't fully understand when I read the book several months ago, but can truly appreciate now. One Hebrew word for
rest used very consistently throughout the Old Testament is
nuwach and she has her readers dig into the lexicon (I'm loving using her recommendation:
Blue Letter Bible for these extra tools) for definitions and examples. There's an Arabic interpretation of this word: 'to kneel down as a camel' which piqued her interest and led to her discovering the fact that camels do not naturally kneel down to rest, they must be trained to do this, forced even, for their own good.
'Camels were created to be resilient. But somewhere along the way, a camel-herdsman decided that training his animal to rest was in both their best interests. He decided that his camel might be
that much more effective at what it was created to do if a little bit of rest was forced.' Jane Johnson
I mull over this type of forced rest as we head into our second month here in North Carolina, trying to find a new 'normal' for these in-between days. While we don't anticipate this initial level of slowness lasting much longer, the passing of time can seem elongated after a season of 'hustle' comes to an abrupt stop. We do our very best to savor this quality time; the unexpected gift of an afternoon nap, breakfast as a family, a stroll at sunset while the boys ride bikes ahead of us. Yet, it's hard to keep our minds from wandering to all that is to come, wondering what steps need to be taken next. We keep reminding ourselves it's okay, encouraged even, to 'cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength' as the dictionary so aptly defines rest.
God formed each of us with unique gifts and purposes; created us to be world changers as His hands and feet. But just like that camel-herdsman, He also knows we will be
that much more effective at the task set before us if we take a minute to catch our breath. Forced rest: the bending of our knees even when everything within us (and the culture surrounding us) yells that we need to get back up, resume the hustle, and define 'purpose' by all we can accomplish in a day. The still, small Voice whispers, 'This is for your good, child, breathe deep of my rest. Let me renew your strength so that you might soar!'
Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)
'But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.' I've known this verse forever but I don't know if I've ever realized how the word
wait prefaced all those other words we like so much: the renewal and the mounting up with eagle wings. The waiting proceeds the running that will not make us weary and the walking that won't be cause for fainting.
I'm not sure what season of life you're reading this from, but I believe we can all use an occasional reminder to bend our knees in rest that we might be better equipped to get back up and run our race. Or maybe your knees have been bent for you, like those camels in training. We may not always understand why life doesn't unfold as anticipated; why the job didn't start when we thought it would, why the prayers weren't answered with a 'yes', or why a great opportunity fell through. But what if we could see those delays, frustrations, and in-between periods as a forced rest from the One who knows us best and is preparing us for something more, something better?
While I do not consider The Message to be a translation of the Bible but rather a paraphrase, I do think it has some beautifully worded renderings of my favorite verses. This wording of Matthew 11:28-30 in The Message always resonates deeply.
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
May we walk closely with Jesus this week, looking to His life for the pattern of how to fully live
and rest. May we acknowledge that the complications in our finely crafted plans may truly be a forced rest for our own good! I pray for the strength to recover our lives and take back what the world has tried to rob us off: the ability to
wait for Him, that we might eventually soar. And when life is a freight train that we can't seem to slow down, let's bring our weary souls to the Giver of rest, for He is
able and His burden is light.
