What is this?!

Two weeks ago we hugged our favorites one last time and boarded a plane, leaving behind tropical paradise and life as we know it. Upon arrival in Los Angeles, Owen expressed the overwhelming emotion we were all wrestling with by asking, 'What is this place??' While not contiguous, the Big Island is, indeed, part of the United States. And yet nothing makes the differences between here and there seem quite so stark as the navigation of traffic in downtown LA. Thank goodness, that was not our final destination.

We have been 'vacationing' in Central California for 14 wonderful days. In the midst of transition and change and goodbyes that made our hearts hurt, God knew that we were in desperate need of rest and relaxation. Hugging my Mom and Dad was high on the 'really really want' list. But needing to wait in CA. until our truck arrived actually made this time mandatory and an absolute balm for my weary heart. Berry picking, bike riding, the best sleep we've had in months, a surprise Baby shower, marshmallows around the bonfire.. it's been bliss.

Watching Owen bond with his grandparents and wreak havoc with his cousins has been priceless. (He thought 'cousins' was a single person until they all walked in the door and I don't think he's stopped playing and laughing since that moment..) In the midst of chaos, I've been blessed with a pedicure date with my Mom, exploration of the magical place that is my parent's backyard and deeper digging into Bible questions with my favorite scholar, Dad! Derek was able to go surfing with my brother and golfing with the cousins. The only moment of displeasure was when Owen had to put on a pair of jeans -for the first time in his entire life! He proceeded to walk around bowlegged, as if there was spikes in them, begging for answers: 'Mom, what IS this?!'

There are numerous unknowns and variables in our life right now and on many different levels our only option is to take it one day at a time. Our truck was supposed to arrive two days ago but, alas, it did not and we have had two extra days of vacation! I would like to map out all the details of our road trip to Colorado but it's hard to do that without knowing when we will begin the drive. I would love to set up an appointment with an OB on the other end but that depends largely on when we arrive. Etc. etc. etc.
Our sweet son often voices the very questions that Derek and I are wrestling with. What is happening, where are we going and why is everything different? We are confident that God is leading us forward into a new chapter and He has already worked out so many of the details in miraculous ways. But that doesn't mean we don't have our moments of wondering, 'What is this?!?' And I am reminded of other curious wanderers who asked these same questions.. Exodus 16:15 'When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, "What is it?" For they did not know what it was. Moses said to them, "It is the bread the LORD has given you to eat.'

The Israelites were hungry and so God provided food. Beautiful simplicity. They weren't ready for the whole plan and they certainly weren't prepared to conquer the Promised Land. God says something along the lines of, 'Chill out. Let's deal with breakfast first.' They could only gather what they needed for the day in front of them, any extra would spoil before they woke up the next morning. [Exodus 16:4] God is offering 'manna' to us as well but sometimes we fail to recognize it for the heavenly bread that it is. My desperate need for a plan can be cause for missing the beauty in Him simply asking me to walk forward one step at a time while He goes before me making a way. Jesus is saying 'Here's the bread you need for today, daughter, enjoy it! We'll deal with tomorrow when it arrives!'

And so we continue to hold our hands open and trust the Orchestrator of this crazy, ridiculous, wonderful, exciting journey! Nothing that we have is truly ours anyway. Paul says to the Corinthian church, 'What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?' 1 Corinthians 4:7 It's all from Him and it's all for Him. He knew exactly how much time we needed here in California. And now as we prepare to embark on an epic road trip, I have no doubt that He is already at work on our behalf! What a gracious Father we have! Instead of asking 'What is it?!' I will bend down to gather these sweet, crunchy flakes of manna; 'the bread the LORD has given you to eat'. And while looking forward to all that is to come, I will focus on giving thanks for the heavenly bread I have been given for today.