The Loose-Tight Hug

My boys may be a touch claustrophobic. Example:: If a shirt doesn't go over their tiny heads in less than 2.7 seconds they completely lose their cool. Also, the daily wipeouts in these parts result in more embarrassment and frustration than pain; they usually do not want to be immediately comforted. Yet, they want me there.. not really, but definitely. This is why, for the past 3+ years I've been exploring the fine line that is offering my presence and comfort without stifling.
I'm learning the art of loosely-hugging-tightly; a 'gentle' squeeze. The act of gathering up in arms a very strong willed and independent human being who absolutely can not be smothered but desperately needs to be held. It's a skill, not easily mastered, this loose-tight hug. (In it's not-so-literal sense, this technique also applies to my husband... but that's another blog post!) I am beginning to realize that I will utilize this skill for the rest of my days.

We've had an epic summer and fall. A severe case of 'cabin fever' from last winter inspired us to take advantage of each sunny day; we adventured every single chance we could! And I had no doubt that Owen would thrive in the explorations but I wasn't sure how Daniel would handle it all. We four-wheeled to the top of mountains, hiked the Sand Dunes, rafted down a river, went paddle boarding at the lake, road tripped multiple times, etc. And our tiniest adventurer also did great.. thanks to the loose-tight hug technique.
With Daniel's back resting firmly against my chest, it didn't matter how bumpy the trail was or how much the rapids splashed us.. it was all good. Danny Boy literally slept through an entire fireworks show at the end-of-the-year Rockies baseball game. This was a fireworks show like none other and the noise level actually shook my insides; but our tiniest man slept through it all, safe in my arms.

And I marvel at all this: the need to be held, but not held too tight and, within that comfort, the ability to withstand any 'adventure' your parents may drag you through. I realize this is exactly what our Heavenly Father offers us; a loose-tight hug! He will not smother us. He created us with free will, our own unique desires and interests and the ability to choose. But He also knows exactly how fragile we are and He understands our need to rest in a Strength greater than our own.
'God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though it's waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.' Psalms 46:1-3

Sometimes I'm embarrassed by a failure and my instinct is to lash out at those around me, but my Father gathers me up oh-so-loosely and holds me till I calm down. On other occasions, nothing seems to be going according to plan (or at the speed I would like) and, not unlike my claustrophobic sons, I feel trapped and start to lose my cool. But God gives me space to catch my breath and then pulls me back in, saying 'Daughter, I've got this!' His plans are not my own but they are infinitely better. (A.k.a 'I can see that your head is almost through this sweatshirt's head-hole, just give me another second to wrestle you through..') 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' Isaiah 55:8-9
It is when I surrender to that comforting Presence, resting my head against the Father's chest, that I can truly embrace the adventure. Our boys may not understand all the bumps and splashes and hours strapped to the front of their Mom and Dad. But, trusting that we were doing this for their own good and relying on our strength to bring them safely through, our tiny adventurers were able to enjoy (or even sleep through) the ride. The beautifully, simple faith of a child.

I'm not saying our ideas are never met with objection. But, in general, our boys handle things exactly how we do. When we are excited to tackle a new challenge, they also get excited! If we remain calm when faced with obstacles or difficulties, so do our sons! And I can only imagine how much stress would be alleviated from my own life if I looked to my Father as an example of how to handle whatever challenge I may be facing. Pretty sure I will never find Him wringing His hands or muttering under His breath. He's got this! And He's got me. May I rest in His loose-tight hug and enjoy the ride.
'For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.'  Jeremiah 29:11-12