He 'pitched his tent' among us!

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic or, as the guys would put it, 'a little bit of a Judy', this week had me feeling exhaustion that I'd never before known.  Ex·haust·ed: 1. Drained of one's physical or mental resources; very tired.  2. Completely used up.  Wednesday found all three of us at an all time low.  Not the greatest mental motivator but I found myself pondering every activity I'd prefer over picking more coffee... the list included eating green slime and walking across a bed of nails!  (Told you my dramatic side might flare up!!)

-FIG!-

Here's where it get's crazy: after eating our turkey sandwiches, Derek voiced what we were all thinking, 'None of us wants to be here... So, let's leave!'  And we all applauded, or at least thought about it!!  But, while scheming what to do if we did leave, all three of us came up blank!  Looking back, of course, I can think of about 300 perfectly, lovely options.  In that moment, however, and in such a funk, nothing came to mind!  We've been picking coffee since August.  Granted, we only had to pick a few times that first month.  But if it only takes 21 days to form a habit; four months is more than sufficient for falling into a rut and forgetting how to do anything but pick and sleep.  My poor brother, thinking he was in for the adventure of his life, arrives to find our inspiration at an all-time low and our bed time at an all-time early!
Disclaimer: I understand that people all over the world work jobs that they hate, day in and day out, because that's what they have to do.  I realize that being 'self-employed' and working outside makes this particular line of work very attractive to a large majority of people stuck in an office.  I also know that I shouldn't complain and I'm very aware of this being 'just a season'; I remind myself of that fact daily!  But, this blog is for the recording of my raw, unedited feelings.  And, I promise, if you bear with me, this post just might shape up to be more than a whiny, diary entry.

[decorating at the apartment!]

Thursday night Bible study focused on John 1:14 and the incredible fact that God became flesh and, as the Greek translation says, 'pitched his tent among us'!  We talked about all that Jesus went through and beyond the what, the WHY.  'Born in a stable and placed in a manger, because there was no room for them in the Inn.'  This is all very quaint and lovely in the nativity scenes but, let's be real, no barn or stable I've ever been in smells or looks like a great place to birth a child.  And a manger is actually the feeding trough for animals, not the cozy, freshly sterilized bassinet we'd like to picture!  I'm not saying this to take away from the Christmas story but to make it that much more breath taking.  The Maker of the universe became a tiny, human baby and made His grand entrance to earth, not in a palace, but in the lowest and humblest of ways.  And that was just the beginning.  He lived among the poorest of people.  He walked along dirty, dusty roads with dirty, dusty people.  Jesus, God in the flesh, got sweaty and sore and was exhausted.  The Star Breather was whipped and spit on and nailed to a cross, dying the most gruesome of deaths.
And He did it all for me.  For you.  All for love!  Lest I somehow think I'm facing anything 'beyond Him', He went through it all, was tempted in every way (but did not sin!) and He conquered!!  He rose from the dead, victorious over Satan and the curse holding us captive.  And now, no matter what I face, He says, 'Daughter, I get it!  I love you!  Walk in the grace I died to give you, let ME be your strength!'  Hebrews 4:14-16 'Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet He did not sin.  Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.'

~sunrise from the top of Mauna Kea~

We watched 'The Nativity' with the youth at church this weekend, and what I used to think of as a slightly cheesy flick had me awe-struck with tears in my eyes!  I want to dive so much deeper into this, especially as Christmas draws near!  But, for this week, the truth I needed to be reminded of so desperately was God's nearness.  Anything I'll ever walk through in this life, any overwhelming feelings of exhaustion or the internal debate as to whether I can go on or not- He can relate to and will walk through it with me!!  This brings me to my knees.. and if not to the end of my whininess, at least to the end of my feeling hope-less.  There is light at the end of this picking tunnel.  And there is grace, abundant grace, for my very confident taking, all because of the extraordinary sacrifice of my Savior!